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demi adejuyigbe - haunted mansion lyrics

in 1984, i told you all i ain’t afraid
turns out some ghouls have heard my song so now i’ve got to pay
one day i’m watchin’ wreck+it+ralph when i start feelin’ chills
i think they loaded up their ghost truck
and moved to my place in beverly hills

’cause my doors keep flying open
stuff has disappeared
i’m seeing things at night
and i’m hearin’ whispers in my ear

there’s specters all around my place
not one, not two, but thousands
i wish i never wrote that song
now i’m pretty sure my house is

(haunted) by all kinds of ghosts
the likes of which you’ve never seen
(haunted) on my top floor, on my ground floor
on my mezzanine (haunted)
till i make amends those ghosts are gonna pester me
they’re kickin’ and screamin’ and dirty dancin’
turnin’ my place into a haunted mansion

come have a fright at the haunted mansion
ghosts taking flight at the haunted mansion
doom and delight at the haunted mansion
party all night at the haunted mansion
everyone’s scared at the haunted mansion
you’re not prepared at the haunted mansion
see how you fare at the haunted mansion
come if you dare at the haunted mansion
there they go again, those d+mn ghosts. it’s endless! let me tell you some of the sh+t i’ve got to deal with on a daily basis:

edison’s messing with my lights
he’s turning them on and off
i got hitler ranting endlessly
he’s complaining about his “kampf”
moses hangs around my pool
and parts it when i swim
ernest hemingway rubbed his b+lls
on all the weights in my home gym
hitchc+ck says “good evening”
when it’s barely even noon
john wilkes booth is messing with lincoln
he’s popping loud balloons
sigmund freud keeps showing me s+xy photos of my mom
bela lugosi’s dead alright ++ he took a dookie on my lawn

(haunted) ghosts are everywhere, they haunt me everyday
(haunted) i was wrong before ++ turns out i am afraid (haunted)
wish those ‘busters would come clean the mess they’ve made
i might pack up and move to branson
just to get away from my haunted mansion

come face your fears at the haunted mansion
live out your years at the haunted mansion
terror appears at the haunted mansion
everyone’s here at the haunted mansion
ghouls love to creep at the haunted mansion
you’ll never sleep at the haunted mansion
whimper and weep at the haunted mansion
sow what you reap at the haunted mansion
i wish i could say that’s the end of the song, that there’s only nine ghosts haunting me. it’s not. every d+mn day they bring new ones in. it’s like they’re bussing them in from out of state or something. i’m telling you, it’s a really big problem. here, i’ve got another verse, or two

bob marley’s making me worry ’bout every little thing
maya angelou caged all my birds to make ’em sing
and orson welles drank all my wine, he says it’s for his health
muhammad ali keeps punching me, he says “stop hitting yourself”
and judy garland’s off to take a whiz all on my bed
i got colin powell telling folks there’s anthrax in my shed
marilyn monroe broke my a/c, she says she like it hot
i got biggie hangin’ around somewhere, suspiciously 2pac’s not

the cast of grapes of wrath fought over who could haunt me better
til cesar chavez unionized them, and now they haunt me all together
christopher columbus takes my stuff and claims it’s his
reagan keeps trying to introduce cocaine to my kids (and they like it)
robert e. lee is putting flags up for the south
i got john lennon in my home theater
he just spoiled wreck+it+ralph (ralph’s the good guy!)
caligula leaves his used condoms all around
jericho champ ate all my snacks, i don’t know who that is

(haunted) long as i’m alive, i’ll never rest in peace (haunted)
why do ghosts have condoms, they don’t have sperm or stds
(haunted) call the catholic church, i need some blessings, please
prince taught cuss words to my grandson
he called me a b+tch in my haunted mansion
get no respect at the haunted mansion
best come correct at the haunted mansion
cause and effect, that’s the haunted mansion
what’d you expect, it’s the haunted mansion
dance with the ghouls at the haunted mansion
break all the rules at the haunted mansion
you’ll suffer fools at the haunted mansion
can’t keep your cools at the haunted mansion

i don’t want to bang on and on about the condom thing, but that’s probably the biggest problem that i have. it’s not him, it’s like everyone. no one believes me when i say this, so i started keeping a list of all the ghosts that’ve been f+cking in my house. and this is just since tuesday

audrey hepburn and leo davinci
helen of troy, bernie mac and walt disney
marlon brando and agnes varda
elizabeth taylor, che guevara
steven mcqueen and princess di
eileen brennan and jesus christ
marie antoinette and lauren bacall
marlon brando and andy warhol
jfk and joan of arc
cleopatra, steve jobs and d+ck clark
pocahantas and vincent van gogh
james baldwin and marlon brando
anne boleyn and marlon brando
plato, voltaire and marlon brando
ruth bader ginsberg and vincent price
then marlon brando, he f+cked my wife!

ruin your life at the haunted mansion
we’ll bone your wife at the haunted mansion
bang 9 to 5 at the haunted mansion
crazy s+x drive at the haunted mansion
we’re using toys at the haunted mansion
f+ck girls and boys at the haunted mansion
everyone joins at the haunted mansion
make lots of noise at the haunted mansion

ooh, the place is so haunted
not at all what i wanted
all those dearly departed
being here ain’t for the faint+hearted
’cause this place is so haunted
it’s not at all what i wanted
the dead make living so hard and
every night i beg for their pardon

you’ll never leave from the haunted mansion
don’t be naive, it’s the haunted mansion
there’s no reprieve, it’s the haunted mansion
morning to eve at the haunted mansion
come take a stay at the haunted mansion
ghosts love to play at the haunted mansion
“play” meaning “f+ck” at the haunted mansion
everyone f+cks at the haunted mansion

- demi adejuyigbe lyrics

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