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dempseyrollboy - i'm doing my best lyrics

[chorus]
what do you think when you see me?
dont judge me i’m doin my best
why couldn’t my life be easy
thats because mine is a test
and maybe im broken conpletely
i’m always so f+cking depressed
i’m meaningless n0body needs me
i’m everyones deepest regret
yeah

this mind that i have is a sad one
this heart that i have is a black one
i contemplate using this handgun
i reminisce times that i had ones
with the girl of my dreams i had onеs
i used to have friend now i havе none
i gotta just face that i can’t run
i’m cursed to be someone you can’t love

[verse]
more medication i need right now
all these prescriptions keep bringing me down
cryin for help but they dont hear a sound
head under water tonight i might drown
i come from torture and horror
my life isn’t normal it k!lls me i hate to reflect
i dont trust anyone i said f+ck everyone
i can’t think straight but il tryin my best
keep all my nightmares and secrets
i try but i can’t let them go
they see my emotions as weakness
but they only see what i show
some people call me a g+nius
others would say i’m a joke
i can’t escape from my deamons
im stuck in this world without hope
watch as my spirit is in a grace
watch as my body oblitetrates
drama incaused all this inner hate
memorys i can’t eliminate
im goin down to decisions made
this is a sudden i’ve been afraid
crazy and hollow im still the same
i can’t break out of my sinfull ways
telling y’all sorrowful storys and not for attention
and not for the glory thats just how i feel
i’m just doin this for me thats why i dont sleep until 4 in the morning
when im on the mic its a suicide warning
i’m wearing the halo already i’m soaring
but i ain’t no angel im evil unholy
i’m really a ghost in this city im lonely
yeah
looks deceitful search under the surface
reality is fake a ridiculous circus
when finding you purpose means finding a
porpuse
and being yourself means you hide behind courtains
just struggles and burdons the pain only (?)
the future is insertent, the past always lurking
the present (?) but times (?)
from whatever is next, it doesent concern us
[pre chorus]
true pain isn’t something that just goes away
it stays inside you forever
and all you can do is praying for a better tomorrow
it may not come but, thats reality
its just the world we live in

this mind that i have is a sad one
this heart that i have is a black one
i contemplate using this handgun
i reminisce times that i had ones
with the girl of my dreams i had ones
i used to have friend now i have none
i gotta just face that i can’t run
i’m cursed to be someone you can’t love

- dempseyrollboy lyrics

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