ditch mimes - dwarf rider lyrics
o’er the horizon
they come lumbering like bison
their beards are as long as they are tall
four foot four at the highest
three foot seven at the widest
dwarves are charging across the plain
towards valhalla
behind them a wizard casts a shadow long
o’erseeing the portly throng
yet one dwarf tarries by his side
with a solemn vow he hikes his breeches
and over the dwarf his leg reaches
then the other, and settled, he cries
charge
going into battle
the wizard never rides sidesaddle
on the backs of dwarves they ride
dwarf rider
wizard sits upon dwarf shoulders
it’s like sitting on a boulder
but a boulder that is halfway in the ground
he humors his -ssistant
he knows it makes no difference
his toes always drag on the ground
stepping dauntless into the fen
the wizard’s robe is wet again
but the dwarf defiant charges on into the bog
such are the perils of the
dwarf rider
a mime spotted the hairy two-man bundle
and promptly mimic’d the wizard-on-dwarf trundle
’tis true, the site was quite absurd
much to the wizard’s chagrin
the imitation humiliated him
and with winking eye he cursed mimes, every one
dwarf rider
how did such an absurd sight
come to grace the moonless night?
i shall tell you in the next verse, aye i shall
shrewd negotiators
the wizards asked for a favor
and dwarves — being dwarves — bid their heed
a tinkle of a wizard’s bell jar
a tincture of toad’s blood and feldspar
and dwarves like taxis shall now and ever be
wizard trucks? nay
dwarf rider
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