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dj duck - fuckt up in lanford illinois lyrics

[intro]
have you ever smoked so much damprid you thought you were in roseanne
i have, and this is my story
dj duck
let us commence forth

[verse]
i smoked 70 pounds of damprid in lanford, illinois
my d+ck fell off and turned into a baby’s arm
i tried to put it back on but it was already dead
laurie metcalf saw this and began furiously m+st+rbating with a turkey baster
suddenly john goodman began materializing in front of me
he asked me if i wanted to go to the store and buy some more damprid
laurie metcalf began speaking 47 dialects of arabic at once
i threw up and diеd but was immediately revivеd by a giant raccoon
the raccoon told me that i was now the king of lanford, illinois
i began a tyrannical reign of terror, enslaving all of the townspeople
laurie metcalf became my s+x slave and was forced to perform unspeakable acts upon me
john goodman joined us in our s+xual escapades and we formed a three+way relationship
we spent our days smoking damprid and committing heinous atrocities upon the people of lanford, illinois

[outro]
this is my story, f+ck you
thank you for listening

- dj duck lyrics

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