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djd34th - demons (part 1) (wrote my way out unofficial remix) lyrics

[verse 1: chris eller]
i sick of this sh-t. all they ever do is bring up my past
i’m a f-cking outcast
i probably won’t last
someone’s probably going to blast
to this game, i tried to adapt
no one knows the facts

grew up in a household filled with violence, my mom was abused daily
if i stayed, i would have never been exposed to shady
my mom moved with me out of fear for safety
sh-t was crazy

especially when she was pregnant with me, bros attacked with a phone cord
but, my father just ignored
until my mom decided to resort to calling the cops
when i was five, stayed in a room with barely any locks
all i had with me were two or more dogs

heard my mother and father screaming, arguing, in the next room
no one would -ssume

i came to the cl-ssroom dressed nice
didn’t need to think twice
except for when there was one kid, thought he was plotting my demise
my teachers didn’t give a sh-t about my cries
and, they’re supposed to be wise?
they didn’t even care when a girl was ganged up on by guys
if i saw them today, probably would recognize
i rarely needed to apologize, even when i poked a kid’s eyes

i try to hide under a disguise of a kid who doesn’t give a sh-t
but, in reality, i’m desperate

desperate for an escape
desperate for a new day
desperate for a girl to be by my side one day
desperate for people to consider me a real dj
i know this sounds like a cliche

a kid who grew up in a traumatic environment
waiting for judgement
only difference was, i was intelligent
this was evident, especially when i decided to…

[chorus: aloe blacc+ (“sample”) +”together”]
(“i wrote my way out”)
when the world turned its back on me
i was up against the wall
i had no foundation
no friends and no family to catch my fall
runnin’ on empty, th’was nothin’ left in me but doubt
i picked up a pen and “i wrote my way—” out

[verse 2: chris eller]
i was eleven when me and my mom moved
can’t say where, but it was a place where she wouldn’t be abused
a place where i wouldn’t come home bl–dy and bruised
missing a shoe, dealing with fallout from the accused

thanks to my friend robert, i was introduced to eminem’s music
the rhymes were sick
took me away from parts of my life that were tragic
it was fantastic
a switch in my head flicked automatic
it made me want to pick up a mic, start to write, learn the rhymes day and night
i saw the light
a flame in my soul got ignited
so, i started to spit
but, my mind was divided
i was thick minded
had to be reminded that i was a kid

rap is no place for a kid, especially one like me
i was extremely weak, had no money
all i had was the mentality, but all that brought was anxiety
i was ugly, couldn’t get a honey
but, rap was my destiny
now, i’m ending it, all i wonder is, “am i leaving behind a legacy?”
especially when i

[verse 3: chris eller]
i’m still writing my way out
out of poverty and doubt
out of the spotlight, and out of the crowd
out of the people shouting loud

can barely hear my own thoughts
can barely rap my own songs

who knew i would make it this far?
who knew i would leave where i belong?

i’m ending right back where i began
this is the exact reason why i ran

my demons are coming back
tormenting me because of my past
it’s hard to understand
it’s like god had this whole thing planned

f-ck, i can’t withstand the pain

i don’t know anymore

i think it’s time that i…

- djd34th lyrics

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