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dog man the musical original cast - the opening number lyrics

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[george/harold, spoken]
dog man: the musical!

[george, spoken]
um, how do we start?

[harold, spoken]
uh, we start at the beginning!
you start writing, and i’ll set the scene
scene 1: it was the best of scenes, it was the first of scenes

it was a scene with scenery
it was a scenery of a city!
it was a city full of tall building, and taxis, and fire hydrants, and trash cans, and most importantly…singing people!

[citizens]
this is called the opening number
it’s the very first song of the show
it’s fast and snappy
it’s super duper happy
it’s a musical type of h+llo
h+llo!

we’re citizens of this city
it’s a place where nothing ever goes wrong
and if you ask me “could it?”
i’ll answer “hey, why would it?”
while we’re singing such a happy song

so let’s all sing this opening number
and slap on a smile and have fun
woo hoo!
’cause the status’ quo and as number’s foe
this opening number is number one!

[petey, spoken]
gimmie that!

[sarah hatoff, spoken]
hey!
you can’t steal that!
that’s stealing!

[petey, spoken]
there’s more crime where that came from
mwa+ha+ha+ha+ha!

[citizen, spoken]
who the heck are you anyway?

[petey, spoken]
that’s a great question
and it deserves a musical answer!

(sung)
i… am… your nightmare come to life

[citizens, spoken]
no!

[petey]
i am a nasty piece of work

[citizens, spoken]
no!

[petey]
i will insult your ugly wife

[citizens, spoken]
why?

[petey]
i am such a total jerk

[citizens]
total jerk
sha+la+la
sha+la+la
sha+la+la
sha+la+la
{humming}

[petey]
i am an evil scoundrel kitty
causing endless allergies
here to terrorize the city
and bring it’s people to their knees
i’m petey

[citizens]
he’s petey

[petey]
i’m petey

[citizens]
scary petey

[petey]
being evil is my game
i’m anything but tame
you will shiver at the mention of my name
i’m petey

(spoken)
now scram!
mwa+ha+ha+ha+ha!

- dog man the musical original cast lyrics

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