don't flop - charron vs juan lyrics
[round 1: charron]
i was supposed to battle mac sherry…but i was scared
i know he cried, i’m aware
so i dropped a tear to battle this guy right there
my little bro, dad’s p-ssed you’re dating a transgender
you’re getting your -ss handed to you by your big brother: i’m sam pepper
it’s clear, amidst here you’re a mid-tier and i rap better
they wouldn’t say juan matter (mata) if you was a midfielder in manchester
yo, you wouldn’t put up some money, i’m a different mc
i’ll take juan doe if you try to kick it with me
juan dimarco
uh oh, i keep saying juan’s name, he’s getting mad ’bout to hit me what a juan bang
with one direction, one nil, that’s some cheap wordplay
well your name’s jake millicheap, so here’s some cheap wordplay
i could talk about how you’re unknown but talks cheap
be happy our bars got you buzzing i’m giving you the shot cheap
you’re a volunteer, do you know how much you’re worth cheap?
you battle for free and i put you in the ground, you’re dirt cheap
but you’re a no name so enough of the name flips
you’re nameless, i battled as a teen but youngin i’ve aged since
jake is making me ancient
you ain’t sh-t i’m the motherf-cker that raised this since age six
go play in your playpen my pen ain’t nothing to play with
no one’s heard of you in north america, folks are just puzzled
they’re only listening to your rounds to hear what i’m going to reb-ttal
you don’t rap, you say sarcastic sh-t and hope that they chuckle
when i snap the crowd goes “hmmm” like bulletz for shuffle
apparently you’re jewish that’s all i found about you
ann frank won’t let you hide with her cause there’s nothing sound about you
well uno said he’s jewish, i don’t know that he is not
i just know he’s the worst opponent that i’ve got
you’re the first jewish person to lower someone’s stock
i should just freestyle like when i was ripping up dotz, wait
you get ate off the top, i’m a step up from the top 8
when they designed this flier they should’ve just cropped jake
you only got this shot cause you’re the best from a crop that people do not rate
i want that veteran crop
the days when tenchoo and lego popped
that cee, arkaic, eur’ and freddie brought that
sensa…nah he was never hot
2014, this your best dawg? we need a pep talk
i’d rather battle to bring your mom to [?]
i asked for someone who rapped eur’, i’d leave raptor dead in a box
stay k!lling it, j dill and the rest getting chopped
you’re boring, don’t have the presence to pop
i’m electrifying, even your rebels get shocked (shox)
flying saucer, rap circles around the rest of your crop
for thinking you’re roswell i’ll turn you to the roswell new mexico crop
you’re only seen by excellent by the english scene, do you need some evidence?
a 16 year old penmanship decent but you need some emphasis
you put me to sleep so effortless
you speech impediment, shuffle-t impression and office season references
piece of excrement, dweeb who thinks he’s mexican, please leave the premises
[round 1: juan]
in terms of similarities, me and my buddy charron share a couple of those
number one: murda mook stays ducking us both
number two: we’re both white and that’s something they know
but i don’t incorporate it into my structure and flows to get a bit more reaction off the stuff that i’ve wrote
unlike you, doing a whole round about being white, white performing on smack
thanks for the clarification because before you said that i thought you were black
always mentioning you’re white like it’s your f-cking duty
ironically claiming that you’ll buck the uzis
so your black fans are like, “aww, he’s such a cutie.”
give me the milk, that white angle when you jump on tunes g you’re just a puppet in the booth; punching judy
it’s funny that you mention columbine and taking a shotgun to school
when you look like every white person that’s ever shot up a school
is that predictable writing?
the only thing that takes up for your notepad, it’s just four bar set ups
i consider that structure a throwback
you could have two bars, eight bars, 16 if the punch that you throw lands
you just got four on demand, you need to catch up with the program
you even mentioned the size of your d-ck, that was kind of g-y
please don’t do it in your rhymes today
and try to refrain from putting your shaft on record like isaac hayes
so you went in a room full of men and told them that your d-ck’s small
i wonder why he’s still single
i guess there’s always laura tarsi and that chick is mad piff
plus we all know juan’s partial to link a bad b-tch
if that was mine and her fake relationship
i’d “like” every single, tag, pick, and comment fire emojis on my instagram sh-t
but i don’t need a fake relationship, i’m already getting cuties
cause my swag; too sweet
fresh top; new sneaks
bathing ape; supreme
gl-sses? too clean
your swag? bookie
dress sense? fruity
world cup euros you’ve never got a group e (groupie)
if laura was ever into you and you managed to get her in your room
while the lights are getting dimmer you’d
ruin the whole vibe by shouting “look at me when i’m filling you!”
“look at me when i’m k!lling you”
your slogan does not apply to the situations you’ve tackled
cause shotgun suge could’ve gone either way and pat stay was a h-ssle
so look at you when you’re k!lling me? you might wanna start rephrasing that angle
cause it’s more like, “look at me when i’m giving you a really debatable battle.”
cause charron’s not k!lling people, calling him a gangsta’s unfair
only waving arms when he freestyles and hands flap everywhere
cause real gangstas hear “freeze. put your hands in the air.”
charron just free’s and puts his hands in the air
yeah i know that king of the dot is great and sh-t
but if we compare our two leagues then don’t flop would take the win
so if they want to tell us how to operate our ship i’ve got nine words for king of the dot: please give me a battle on world domination 6
[round 2: charron]
yo, you were mentioning my d-ck size and saying that it’s kinda g-y
well don’t worry, i ain’t gonna do any of those rhymes today
and it’s kinda funny how he tried to bring up i was isaac hayes
well i’ll cook him like a chef so you gon’ die today
so why you coming up here, you thinking that you coming and you doubt spark
i mean i’m chef, you look like b-tters from south park
why you coming back, you thinking that you actually great
if i was a chef i’m serving this kid like it’s salisbury steak
i can’t believe it’s your 7th birthday
don’t be a bad sport
eurgh brought me here as a gift, why you looking so sad for?
this spoiled brat was complaining, kicking the d-mn floor
like, “i wanted murda mook. this isn’t what i asked for.”
you know what rhymes with, “calling out murda mook”?
“he’s never heard of you.”
but when i was listening to you vers’ soljitsu i was sure i’d lose
i was listening like, “he’s hard. sick. he ain’t so bad.”
then you said a defeat bar, cl!ck, close tab
so bad, that bit was dreadful
then you said, “i don’t mind bodying soul”, that’s bit from fresco
you got to pick any opponent that’s in an elite cl-ss
they’re screaming, “kick his -ss”, i’m feeling like sea b-ss
or maybe freddie krueger/cruger, i’ll give him a team cast
i know you’re far from sleepy g but you can still die in your dream match
uno traveled out here and made you pay
that’s a murder on the road; jfk
eur’ reminds me of alonzo harris in a crazy way
he set up jake to get murdered by a mexican on his training day
listen king of the juanolds, i give a f-ck what you on
just cause you pr-nounce your r’s as w’s don’t mean you are/r gonna get this w, juan
this kid’s getting exposed so hard in front of a camera crew
that gary glitter’s laptop feels bad for you
you’re in school, this ain’t the -ssignment you prepped for
i’m going in on this underage b-tch, eurgh had to sign a consent form
dekay should’ve aborted you
you’re a boring dude
is your name “juan” or “yawn” you should be more enthused
when you rap it sounds like you’re talking, juan can’t spit
when they say, “talk that sh-t!” you just talk…that’s sh-t
i’m your favorite battle rapper, you’re bringing up south park well i’m your favorite battle rapper, i’m just tearing up a fan
i feel like randy marshall i’m embarr-ssing my stan
you’re supposed to battle harry said you’d prepare for him later
well jews are known to get hooked it makes sense you’re scared of a baker
i got paid thousands, you got zero paper
don’t be jelly, you’re not garteth stapler
listen gringo, mickey and pedro said you can’t get any whiter
even carlo’s men see ya (mencia) as a mexican biter
little jacob, the name juan is straight suspicious
i got this fake spanish b-tch in the palm of my hand; taco flavored kisses
so go and clown me, if this was based off jokes you’d get first place
but the face that i was asked to battle you is a joke in the first place
this a url k!ller, i should be matched up with another
i only battled people on smack, next time i want unanymous’s mother
[round 2: juan]
in your list of achievements, you claim to be ottawa’s finest freestyler
now that’s not something we see often
the best freestyler in the whole of ottawa, man i know that scene’s popping
but for ottawa’s finest freestyler there’ll be problems
when he comes against the best blond 17 year old battle rapper with gl-sses in east oxford
remember when you wrote bars dissing 2 chainz, that had me in awe
what did you expect? 2 chainz to start losing his fans and start lacking support?
what did you expect? that while preparing for shows and international sh0r-s
he’ll have his manager call like, “yeah, bad news mate. ottawa’s finest freestyler doesn’t like the tracks you record
we’re gonna have to cancel the tour.”
but pat vs charron that was bad to some
for that king of the dot chain, he bagged you up before the match begun
you looked weaker and weaker with every average pun
so why go for 2 chainz, you can’t even get his hands on one
when this battle got confirmed, i got an inbox from emily tilley
now for those that don’t know her she’s some lady
who comes to these events to have fun and get drunk mainly
she said that after checkpoint you were at a club, just grieving
you saw her at the bar, went up, all guns blazing
you bought her a drink thinking, “yeah, i’ve not been getting that much lately.”
so you went in for the kiss…long story short she did a 180
oh sh-t, this sh-t just got incredibly real
so she rejected you, it’s not the end of the universe
you then went to a house party, started busting some moves with her
at this point emily’s thinking, “i’ve had enough of this useless jerk.”
til she goes to bed and wakes up with you randomly spooning her
you went from “look at me to when i’m k!lling you” to “look at me when i’m kissing you”
to “emily, come back. let me be the little spoon.”
now i stay clear of the groupies, i’m sure they’re all pleasant humans
but last time i checked, don’t think you’re meant to spoon them
is that your usual behavior? does spooning come to mind every time you’re introduced to a stranger?
so ladies if i [?] at the bar, consuming some jaeger
you play your cards right, ottawa’s finest freestyler might just be spooning you later
so picture the scene, after checkpoint charron goes home to his crew
they’re all laughing and joking, smoking some zoots
one of his boys is like, “charron, did you get any action when you flew over my dude?”
he’s like, “yeah. there was this one girl emily. we like totally spooned.”
he’ll probably try to flip this like, “i’m better with flows son
i’ll sever this broke bum
so what i spooned her, you’re just jealous, they’re dope hugs.”
i ain’t jealous of those hugs
you didn’t take this battle cause i’m a top contender
mr. “back on point like a stegosaurus” just came to get his c-ck wetter
you’re a socially awkward dinosaur obsesser that flew to london for emily like ross geller
[round 3: charron]
i mean you brought up…emily…tilley?
of course that sh-t was trash
we did not spoon, i forked her in the -ss
so why you coming back and of course they’re party
you said we went to after party and i had to pour bacardi
i mean i love british b-tches, of course they’re gnarly
i just got a divorce with tarsi and entered a fake relationship with laura garvey
so why you talking ’bout this and i know you’re weird
i mean do you believe that story? of course it’s clear
and you are not deserving of this battle, i know it’s clear
so it’s funny cause eur’ has spoon fed your whole career
your friend rob wilson is a c-nt
such an awkward teen
k-shine told me to “zip ’em up” he did dot mobb mean
this is probably the saddest day that robert’s seen
you got your shot and you watched it slip through your hands, you’re robert greene
you copied me, i paved you this road
in the future you have a vision of corey like raven-symone
jake is unknown, uno brought a name tag and had it placed on your clothes
he put a tag on your chest, i’ll put a tag on your toes
it’s easy to write for charron, so many angles to pick for me
you’re like my internet after watching p-rn; no history
you could say i brought a flag to the crips, it’s really obvious
say i brought up deathsman for kids up in the audience
learning disability, think that they’ll applaud for this?
i’ll choke you with the two hands i use to sip my water with
i want the motherf-cking champ and really you’re no challenger
i’m sharpening my sword, you ain’t up to soul caliber
the camera man bet rowan i’d rip up their own battler
now i’m splitting bands with my brother liam like no gallagher
you ain’t a rapper, everything you say is banter
you never change your cadence or make it faster
you’re too plain/plane to blow this ain’t the world trade disaster
betty crocker, for that cake get battered
if there’s green i’ll bring a big body like an angry banner
i’m the main attractor, lunar 2 on 2, the one beside jacob matter
you ain’t a factor
you grew up on don’t flop, they’re your favorite rappers
you were raised by ’em/em’, hailie mathers
they thought you’d survive the war but skip the latest chapter
you’re on your deathbed the whole time this is jacob’s ladder
now for those of y’all who haven’t seen jacob’s ladder…it’s a movie
but that’s what you do for praise and laughter
i’m just impersonating this b-tch like david masters
you’re the poster child, they said, “can you go to his hometown in mannich?”
well i’ve been in don’t flop longer than you, who really has the hometown advantage?
cruger taught me when it comes to fake relationships do not accept
i taught pedro how to emc, had to get that off my chest
i taught dotz i could k!ll sh-tty rappers off the top no prep
i taught [?] how to flip and he taught me how to pocket check
you’re my son, there’s some moves i don’t want you to make
f-ck the police, this the only time i’ll talk to a jake
you’re an awkward teen coming on the scene and trying to clown mc’s
with a sarcastic comedy routine but you need
to weave bars in-between and start dropping some schemes
or a poor man’s harry baker is all that you’ll be
you have the presence/presents of an orphan, i want you to leave
your sense (scents) of humor is dry but i washed you with ease
i sonned you so bad you lost to your father in three
if you battled loaded lux, this third round would be all about me
when i was 17 i was rhyming here, pay respect to the pioneer
you’re juan juan da don, just a remix to my career
[round 3: juan]
coming against juan, you best be on your a game
you’re getting spun like a beyblade
why you patting me down for cash? you autistic people usually hate change
you got your slogan printed on t-shirts, that was a silly move
since you’re so socially unaware, listen to this advice that i’m giving you
if by miracle you ever land yourself with a job interview
don’t wear a t-shirt that says, “look at me when i’m k!lling you”
your t-shirt business inspires me, i want one bruv
i nearly formed my own clothing and got it done
with exclusive juan t-shirts “please leave the premises” on the front
but i suddenly remembered that i’m not a c-nt
cause i don’t know what’s more astounding to me
the fact that you put them out on a lease and thought that you might sell like a thousand a week
or the fact it’s the first time you found this mc
ever get his one of his battle lines down to a tee
either way, having your own clothing in itself is a body bag
what’s next? “not sob like boston backwards” jogging pants
or “back on point like a stegosaurus” bobble head
cause both those lines are proper trash, you know they’re wrong
he’s like, “100 bulletz told me to”, bro come on
battle rap rule #1, you broke it don
never take advice from someone who schemes about pokemon
so you haven’t battled at the birthday since arsonal
when we say you actually say
“if rappers like you weren’t rapping this way
then maybe talented rappers like depzman would still be rapping today”
you think that was okay?
it sure got the crowd live bro
stylist came alive they were hype for that line bro
what a great reaction, yeah that line was alright bro
psych, i never give handshakes to psychos who use death as a mechanism to make the crowd high blown
had you ever heard of depzman?
nah, don’t act like you heard his actual music
you didn’t know how j.k. dropped some daps on the map from moving
you just heard about depz’s death, tried to get reaction through it
by linking it to ars’ and his bars about the straps he’s shooting
but that sh-t’s stupid
you think that link is valid? prove it
cause i can’t fathom how you even got to that conclusion
you tried to capitalize on a man that had died, you should’ve been battered toothless
so that’s the truth, so what if they were clapping to it
so what they got the crowd g-ssed and they were rapping to it
this ain’t a shot at the fans, i was in the room too, g-ssing to it
but when i got home and watched it back i knew it
was a shallow move from a rancid human
cause i hated the fact that you spat it to him
i hated the fact that you got happy through it
i hated the fact that the fans weren’t booing
and i hated myself for reacting to it
so wait, remember when you spat that line to that person from st. matthews high
and told him you wished that he was the one in the car crash that died
well people cut you slack for that battle rhyme simply because you were just 17 at the time
so you were just 17?
that excuse doesn’t add up too well
cause me i’m 17 now and i wouldn’t have even spat that at 12
and that’s the difference
at 17 you were an absolute melt
you spat lines about the dead and ran to get help
at 17 i’m out here playing the hand that i’m dealt
cause at 17 you should know how to carry yourself
it’s your whole image, not just the clothes that you’re wearing
not even that whining high pitch vocal impairment
it’s that fake relationship with that ho you were sharing
it’s begging reaction off your skin tone and your fairness
it’s trying to get the crowd’s hands thrown in the air
by spitting lines about the dead like they’re a joke your’e declaring
then tell me, that in life you’re going nowhere
cause charron is a prayer with little to no social awareness
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