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dorian dead - how to hang yourself at home lyrics

(intro: dorian dead)
hey, this is dorian dead speaking. this is a disclaimer, uh, because it’s probably necessary to just say that you shouldn’t k!ll yourselves. that this song is a joke, an unfunny, tasteless joke, and, uh… and… you know what? i don’t really know why i record this. this was supposed to be like a funny intro, but it’s not funny; and i don’t even know why i worry because n-body actually listens to my music, so you know what? whatever. enjoy

(text-to-speech voice)
“hi, kids. would you like to learn how to hang yourselves at home? well, you have come to the right place. in this tutorial by dorian dead, you will learn to finally put an end to your miserable existence and get rid of the pain and suffering you go through every single day. to accomplish this, you just have to follow a few simple steps. first of all, you have to look for any reasons to live in such a rotten world that has nothing to offer to you. once you have realized there is no point in staying alive, we can get to the next step, which consists in getting the material. we need a rope or a belt, a chair, and a place to hang ourselves from, preferably a high place like the top of our room. now, we are going to get to the third step: preparing everything. we now have to actually put the rope or belt in the spot that we have already chosen. we must tie it real tight so it won’t break. be careful! we don’t want to survive this, eh? then, place the chair right below that spot. once we have already finished all of these steps, you can choose to leave a note telling everybody the reason why you are leaving them. now that everything is ready, you can just step up to that chair, put that rope or belt around your neck, pray to jesus if you wish, and just kick that f-cking chair so you just hang from the top. if you feel like you’re choking and you can’t breathe, you’re doing it right!”

(hook: dorian dead)
yeah, wooh, let’s go
because in the end n-body gives a f-ck about you
in the end, n-body a gives a sh-t what you do
in the end, it doesn’t matter what we go through
’cause we will all die soon
and we will all die soon
and we will all die soon
and we will all die soon
what the f-ck is this song anyway

(outro: dorian dead, “text-to-speech voice”)
do not k!ll yourselves by the way, this is a f-cking joke

“this has been all for today.”

you understand? this is a f-cking joke

“see you in the next tutorial!”

- dorian dead lyrics

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