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dos gringos - my wife's vibrator lyrics

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i used to be such a happy guy
thought things were good between my wife and i
but now i just hang my head in shame

since the day that i found
the thing that turned my world upside-down
no, i’ll never be the same

since i found my wife’s vibrator
stuffed in a cotton sock
(my wife’s vibrator)
a perfect replica of a c-ck
(my wife’s vibrator)
it was so big and fat
how the h-ll could i compete with that?
my wife’s vibrator

i picked it up; it weighed a ton
took four d batteries to make it run
and the writing on the side said its name was “slim”

is this what it takes to feel alive?
three f-ckin’ gears and an overdrive
when i turned it on, all the lights went dim

when i found my wife’s vibrator
what is this all about
(my wife’s vibrator)
that thing’ll knock her fillin’s out
(my wife’s vibrator)
don’t you dare laugh
i swear to god, it’s gonna split her in half
my wife’s vibrator

she came home earlier than planned
with me holding c-ck-zilla in my hand
and i just stood there in a trance

she said, “well, now that you know
is there any chance you wanna give it a go?”
i just fell to the floor and i p-ssed my pants

when i found my wife’s vibrator
i think they’re full of sh-t
(my wife’s vibrator)
there’s no way you could make it fit
(my wife’s vibrator)
who did they model it on?
that motherf-cker’s got one h-ll of a schl-ng

my wife’s vibrator
i found my wife’s vibrator
yes, i found my wife’s vibrator
(my wife’s vibrator)

- dos gringos lyrics

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