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doug anthony allstars - billy don't be a hero lyrics

[paul spoken: ladies and gentlemen, this is sweetness and light. this song goes out to all those great vietnam films. films like “hamburger hill”, and “tour of duty”, and “priscilla, queen of the desert”]

the marchin’ band came down along main street
the soldier-blues fell in behind (ba-da da-da-da)
i looked across and there i saw billy (i’m billy!)
waiting to go and join the line (i’m gonna join the line!)

and with her head upon his shoulder
his young and lovely fiancée
from where i stood i saw she was crying
and through her tears i heard her say

[paul spoken: aw, billy don’t go and do it! you go and do it you can f-ckin’ consider yourself dropped ’cause i’m not gonna make love to you if you’re an armless, legless corpse!]

billy, don’t be a hero, don’t be a fool with your life
(ba-da da-da da-da-da)
billy, don’t be a hero, come back and make me your wife
(do you want sultanas with her?)

and as billy started to go
she said, “keep your pretty head low
billy, don’t be a hero, come back to me”

[tim spoken: -gun and explosion sounds-]

the soldier-blues were trapped on a hillside
the battle raging all around (ba da-da da-da)
the sergeant said, “we’ve gotta hang on, boys
we’ve gotta hold this piece of ground”

hold it boys
“i need a volunteer to ride up
and bring us back some extra men”
and billy’s hand was up in a moment (up in a mormon?)
forgettin’ all the words she said (go bless the car)

“billy, don’t be a hero, don’t be a fool with your life
(ba-da da-da da-da-da)
billy, don’t be a hero, come back and make me your wife”
and as billy started to go
she said, “where did billy’s head go?
billy, don’t be a hero, come back to me”

[paul spoken: then i saw a helicopter flip upside down and vic morrow’s head went -squelch-. the average iq of the fighting soldier in vietnam was nineteen. n-n-n-n-nineteen. nineteen. n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n—]

i heard his fiancée got a letter
saying how billy died that day (stupidly) (horribly)
(oh my god, billy!)
the letter said that he was a hero

[paul spoken: he was a herod. a herod? a herod? aw no, wait see i’ve got a bit of pus on my contact lens]

she should be proud he died that way

[paul spoken: that’s a funny place to get a bayonet stuck]

i heard (scrunch, scrunch, scrunch, scrunch, scrunch)
she threw the letter away (rip! tear!)
(eh, that’s government property, lady!)
and as the mailman started to go
he said “keep your pretty head low”

[paul spoken: billy?]

-twilight zone theme-

billy, don’t be a hero, come back to me

-applause-

[richard spoken: in 1975 the doug anthony allstars went to perth for the first time and hitchhiked our way across the nullabor and on the way we got picked in a kombi van that was tie-dyed]

[tim spoken: as soon as we got into this kombi van i smelt a rat and i found the bl–dy thing in the ashtray and i thought “oh no, here we go”. i looked around the van and, sure enough, we were surrounded by a phalanx of hippies. sc-m! filth! vermin! measles!]

[audience member: i love you, paul!]

[tim spoken: i love you aaaahhh -mimicking-! it’s the car-alarm girl.]

[richard spoken: -mimicking- i’m just speaking to her in her own language -mimicking-]

[tim spoken: hmm, she’s nodding. and there we were, i looked around. car is full of hippies, and one girl’s sitting in the front. she’s got these sh-tty dog-t-rd dreadlocks. on most people they look like.. yeah]

[richard spoken: they look really terrible, actually, dreadlocks on most people because they just look smelly and horrible. and i understand people keep rats in them]

[tim spoken: sorry, richard was never allowed to watch television except for the colgate ads. uh, and this girl leans over and she says to me, “you know, i think that, um, nuclear weapons are really dangerous.” and i said, “ooh!” put that nuclear weapon down, you’ll take someone’s eye out]

[richard spoken: ow, ow, ow!]

[tim spoken: and i said, “listen girl, it’s the bomb that keeps us safe. it’s the bomb that keeps the west alive. for fifty years the atom bomb, the nuclear bomb, the hydrogen bombs have been the weapons that have kept the godless russians on their f-ckin’ side of the wall without their freedom of speech. the godless f-ckin’ chinese with their tiananmen square m-ssacres on their side of the wall, and us safe, alive, and free, and democratic in the middle. and if we just ban the bomb and throw them all into the f-ckin’ river that takes away our final chance of wipin’ the yanks off the face of the earth once and for all]

-applause-

[tim spoken: firm policies! firm policies, australia!]

[paul spoken: stop it please, stop it please. now think about what you’re doing, people. you don’t whistle, clap… or laugh— settle down! you’re becoming a rabble]

[richard spoken: jesus loves you. he just hates what your doin’?]

[paul spoken: think about it, everyone. that was a racist joke, your clapping, your cheering for a racist joke. anyway tam, um, turned to me at one stage during the ride and she went, uh, “paul, do you mind if i feel my way around your aura?” and i said, “no. no, go for it.” and she went, “okay… aw, your aura is really dirty. your aura is the aura of a bitter and depressed person. uh, you have the aura of an angry man.” and i said to her, “f-ck off!” and she said, “no, no, hey. hey, please, ooh. don’t treat me like that, because i had a great teacher. i had a teacher whose name was ashram. ashram cymbalist.” his son was the first buddhist fbi agent, but that’s another very long, and complicated story]

[richard spoken: we’d like to ask you to turn your minds back now to a time before paul was in the group]

[paul spoken: -gasp- is it possible?]

[richard spoken: yes! when tim and i were meagre buskers on the street and paul was just this fresh-faced, happy, young kid who was sitting in the front row of all our concerts. and tim, he used to… didn’t he used to dance like peter garrett?]

[tim spoken: peter garrett!]

[paul spoken: don’t.. you just said that before, you said exactly the same thing]

[tim spoken: either that or he was trying to get up onto the chair. he was a little fella. aw, and he was cute as a bl–dy boot though wasn’t he?]

[richard spoken: oh, wasn’t he, tim? he used to come up to us after the gig and say, ’cause he had long duran duran-style hair in those days, too]

[tim spoken: yeah, and big boofy sleeves and everything. and tight pants, the boots that started there, really sharp winkle pickers]

[richard spoken: oh, and, uh eye-makeup and, uh, jodhpurs]

[tim spoken: big belt buckle, little tiny belt]

[richard spoken: and he used to walk along the street to himself going, “ah, we fade to gray, fade to gray. ahh”]

[tim spoken: “i’m shaking like milk” he was a lovely kid]

[richard spoken: lovely guy, and he used to come up to us after the show and say, “youse guys are legends”]

[tim spoken: “we’re not worthy! we’re not worthy! we’re n—” all that stuff]

- doug anthony allstars lyrics

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