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doug anthony allstars - broad lick nic lyrics

whoa
whoa
whoa

it’s a broad lick nic, and i’ll tell you while i’m able
or i’ll smash your skull if you’ll not drink enough black label
it’s a hard man’s drink and though the bottle’s broken
put your money on the table, strain the gl-ss through your teeth
so, we grew up lean, mean, kings of the street scene
without a mother’s guiding hand to keep us clean
down your rum, we’ll take life as it comes (hey!)
and all you blue rinse critics, lick our literary b-m

i drank my first pure malt before i was three
smoked a pack of dutch cigarettes my pappy left for me
and i romanced a little l-ss who was twelve years my elder
at the age of six i held her
that year i also bed her
so before i was seven
my first child was born

i told a pack of filthy lies as a politician
heard my own confession as an act of contrition
i spent ten years as a trappist monk in a village in tibet (liar!)
and i walked up everest naked just to win a bet (hey)

whoa
whoa

well i cut off my leg to win a one legged race
and when i won i st-tched it on my little sister’s stomach
i fought mohammed ali, i’ve seduced mata hari
i’ve even worn a sari when i impersonated gandhi
and i dare any man here to call me a liar

(liar!)

but i swear i’ve seen ezekiel, i swear i’ve seen isaiah
toasting marshmallows in beelzebub’s fire
and we’re mad (mad!), bad (bad!), dangerous to know
we never gave a tinker’s cuss about the seeds we’d sow
and we stay up late and never be forlorn (hey!)
and when the morning comes around we’ll kiss the crack of dawn
(shame, fraser. shame)

we took the wax from kerouacs and dusty dostoevskys
and when all was said and done, booze was all i had left me
for all the world’s great thinkers are all a load of pus
and if you asked how zarathustra spoke, he spake thus:
drink! drink! drink!
drink until you’re drunk
drink until you can’t stand up
till you’re roly-poly stung
till your bladder bursts, till you throw a fit to curse
till they lift you up still comatose and slam you in the he-rs-

and we’re good (good!), bad (bad!), ugly as sin
we mixed up cough syrup with our gin
so take your medicine
i pray that when i die (hey!)
there’ll be someone else around to kiss my -rs- goodbye
yes i pray, i pray, i pray that when i die
there’ll be someone else around to kiss my -rs- goodbye

[paul spoken: grazie, grazie, grazie. thank you very much. molto belissimo. we’re back]

[tim spoken: h-llo beautiful, big [?] city of sydney. it’s great to be playing here this evening, to our home crowd]

[paul spoken: this is the night where we present, uh, the first material we ever did. uh, this show is called “sweetness and light” and these songs that you’ll hear over the next four or five hours, uh… are the first ambitious attempts to seize the imagination of the nation. um, and joining us tonight is a very special guest. he was the original band for the doug anthony allstars. he left us several years ago after he had a mental breakdown. but he’s back with us tonight, we’re very proud to introduce him. um, he must be described, i suppose, as a very close personal friend of tim’s and i’m here to present him tonight. ladies and gentlemen, the ubiquitous robert fidler. richard!]

[tim spoken: richard!]

[paul & tim spoken: richard fidler!]

[tim spoken: richard’s very tired. paul and i got into a lot of trouble last night with richard, because we were in melbourne and we went to the crown casino and we left him locked in the car for six hours]

[paul spoken: oh, it was terrible, when we came back there was just slobber all over the window]

[richard spoken: no bowl of water, either]

- doug anthony allstars lyrics

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