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doug anthony allstars - paul's poem lyrics

[richard spoken: okay um, we’ve been doing this a lot in edinburgh. this has been a poem that’s meant a lot to us over the years, it’s paul’s special poem]

[tim spoken: yeah, pauly. little pauly. and listen before he says a word, not a f-cking word, pixie. oh, sorry “pauly”. but look, before he says a word, it’s a poem but… that doesn’t mean he’s a weak person or anything like that. okay?]

[paul spoken: don’t do that, rich. you’re like mildew growing across my body when you do that. i’m gonna f-ckin’ toilet duck myself after that. look, ah, we have been giving it a miss over the last couple of nights, but it is because it’s a tribute… to scotland. um, ah, we wrote it on the plane coming over, and, uh, it’s a piece that… god, i dunno. somehow the words just i don’t⁠— just fell out of us onto the page. we didn’t even have to think about it, it was wild when we, when we wrote this. we sat down and suddenly the whole thing had almost magically written itself even before we, you know, had touched down here. um, and it’s a poem about scotland, and about the brave scottish people, and… yeah i found that rather funny myself. “brave scottish people” i can see why you found that funny]

⁠[tim spoken: “get the boot off please!”]

[paul spoken: oh jesus, yeah. of course, yeah]

[tim spoken: scotland: the only country in the world to win no olympic medals ever! well done scotland!]

[paul spoken: still, keep trying, you know, keep trying. and, ah, anyway, this is about the scottish people, who’ve never won a medal in the olympics, and, uh—]

⁠[tim spoken: i mean, even the f-cking gowans can get up]

⁠[paul spoken: whoa, they’re in there with a f-cking chance at least. anyway, um, it does go out to all the brave scottish people and, ah, and this this beautiful, beautiful land of scotland, broad brown land of scotland, and it’s simply ent-tled, “scotland.” hope you like it, we wrote it]

⁠[richard spoken: that hurt!]

⁠[paul spoken: sorry, i couldn’t quite catch that one, uh..?]

⁠[tim spoken: was it, “go back to australia, and f-ck off”? which one?]

⁠[paul spoken: go back to australia and f-ck off? or, f-ck off and go back to australia? uh]

⁠[tim spoken: you come here with your f-cking fancy dancing proclaimers accent pretending to be scottish. i know full well you’re in the middles-x theatre company, son! there are never any scottish people in the -ssembly rooms. this is the edinburgh festival!]

⁠[richard spoken: yeah!]

⁠[tim spoken: they’re all english, you can beat the sh-t out of them later. yes, you’ve identified yourself now, “bravo! bravo! absolutely smashing!”]

⁠[paul spoken: and, surprise surprise, the christians were english too]

⁠[tim spoken: yes. right on, greenham common ladies]

⁠[paul spoken: this is for the brave scottish people. and for scotland. and it is called, “scotland”]

⁠[tim spoken: whether you like it or not, son]

⁠[richard spoken: yeah]

⁠[paul spoken: “imagine there’s no england”]

⁠[richard spoken: hang on, hang on. you’d need a much longer euro tunnel then]

⁠[paul spoken: “imagine there’s no england
it’s easy if you try
no wales, or northern ireland
above us, only skye

imagine all the people
living life in leathe
yes, yes, yes, yes!
you may say i’m a dreamer
but i am not the only one
i hope one day you join us
and the world can live in dunfermline”
thank you very much, whoa!
scotland be proud, be proud scotland]

⁠[tim spoken: yes! scotland! there’s always another olympics… i went to school with a boy by the name of michael hunt, we nicknamed him “f-ckhead”! d-mn]

- doug anthony allstars lyrics

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