doug anthony allstars - satan iii lyrics
[paul spoken: is there anyone here tonight who believes in… satan?!]
[tim spoken: satan!]
[paul spoken: satan!]
[tim spoken: whoa, growing numbers christians!]
[richard spoken: s-a-t-i-n! s-a-t-i-n! s-a-t-i-n! go… dark lord!]
[paul spoken: what a waste of a good joke that was. have you ever thought about, this young people? notice the numbers there are growing for satan, but have you ever thought of this? satan… santa. ah?! santa… satan. satan, santa. santa, satan. satan, santa. eh?]
[tim spoken: oh, they’re anagrams. move the n in sa-n-t-ah and you end up with sata-n. in fact, if you think about it, oh my god, an anagram of santa claus is satan… lacsu, satan clusa… uh, satan laucs, satan lucas, satan slaucs. santa claus, it comes back to itself]
[richard spoken: and an anagram of qantas, is satanq]
[tim spoken: and an anagram of the very word “anagrams”, is grmnsaaa]
[richard spoken: and an anagram of xxxx beer is camel’s p-ss]
[tim spoken: yeah, although in australia we call it castlemaine f-ck]
[paul spoken: but there are other more interesting similarities. satan! santa! both are referred to as “old nick”]
[richard spoken: satan… santa… never seen together at the same time]
[tim spoken: that’s right, santa claus always leaves the shopping mall before the horned one commeth!]
[paul spoken: and you’re smart people, here tonight, you tell me. satan, santa, what’s their favourite colour? red!]
[tim spoken: red]
[richard spoken: green!]
[tim spoken: santa, satan. satan, santa! they both like giving things to small children! he made me say it]
[paul spoken: but the most significant fact of all… is this: in certain 17th century woodcuts and some 18th century engravings from the same period… satan is often depicted… f-cking reindeer. satan, the dark lord, f-cks the reindeer. satan… f-cks the— “ow! ow! satan, no! ow!” satan! satan, the dark— f-cks the— “ow, ow! satan, no ow!” he f-cks— he f-ck— master of all the un— satan f-cks the— “ow, ow!” you’re looking a bit confused there, son. you understanding this or not? satan— “ow! oh, satan, no! ow, ow! ah, ah, ah” bing. he f— satan— he f-cks the r— “ow, ow, ow!” “ah, ah, ah! ah, ah!” satan, he f-cks the— he f-cks the— he f-cks the— “ah, ah! ah, satan no! oh, satan! oh, god! oh, satan! oh, god! oh, god! oh, satan! ah, ah! oh, god! oh, satan! oh, god! oh” he f-cks the reindeer. satan f-cks— he f-cks the reindeer “ah, ah, ah!” he f-cks— satan— satan f-cks the— “bambi! bambi!” he f-cks the— satan. f-cks them. he f-cks the reindeer. “ow, ow ow! no, satan, no, no!” “hey, don’t worry about me. it’s just a stag i’m going through. hey everybody, everybody, the buck stops here.” “woohoo! s-xy reindeer! woo, richard! woo, s-xy reindeer! s-xy reindeer! woo, s-xy reindeer! woo, s-xy reindeer! s-xy reindeer! woo, woohoo, s-xy reindeer! ah…” schizophrenic reindeer. i’d just, um… i’d just like to apologise for the— for the last, um, five minutes of material]
[tim spoken: no, no, no, no, no, no, no! don’t apologise to these nice people, you apologise to satan, our dark lord and master, because tonight, paul, you have treated him with something less than respect]
[paul spoken: sorry, satan—]
[tim spoken: nuh, nuh, ah -gibberish-]
[paul spoken: sorry, satan. didn’t mean nothin’ by it, just having a gag]
[tim spoken: “didn’t mean nothin’ by it!” “didn’t mean nothin’ by it!” i saw all those s-xual allusions. and what the f-ck does this mean? what does this mean?]
[paul spoken: that’s the reindeer antler]
[tim spoken: oh, er. oh, right. h-hey, i just had a thought. now i know why reindeer can’t wave]
i am sailing, i am sai—
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