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doug anthony allstars - satan iv lyrics

[tim spoken: where are you going you rude b-st-rd? “australia, f-ck off.” ooh, wait ’til you people start using real verbs. how f-cking tough is that? can’t win a f-cking medal. what about gallipoli? where the f-ck were you scots in gallipoli? we were dying by the f-cking thousands on the beach! you b-st-rds were drinking tea in suvla bay. mel gibson was nearly k!lled, mate!]

[richard spoken: yeah!]

[tim spoken: yeah… where are you going, young miss? that y⁠—]

[paul spoken: she’s going to the toilet [?]. she’s going to the toilet]

[tim spoken: that young girl, you can wait like everybody else. that girl, that girl, that girl! come in here please, young l-ss or you’re gonna be in big trouble. you’ll end up getting six of the best and that will hurt like b-gg-ry]

[paul spoken: nah, tim. nothin’ hurts like b-gg-ry]

[tim spoken: paul has a very important question to ask you people, the most⁠—]

[paul spoken: onesies or twosies?]

[tim spoken: i guess we’ll tell by the time it takes. off you go, now. and well done, a woman going to the toilet by herself this evening! well done. okay, first time for everything. paul has a very important question, let’s give him the answer that he demands!]

[audience spoken: yes!]

[paul spoken: not yet i haven’t asked the question yet]

[tim spoken: okay. question, answer, okay?]

[paul spoken: okay, are we all ready? is there anyone in here tonight…]

[audience spoken: yes!]

[paul spoken: that’s a f-ckin’ old joke now. is there anyone here tonight who believes in… satan?!]

[tim spoken: satan! yes! ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah!]

[paul spoken: alright, i want you⁠— why don’t you think about santa and satan again? i dunno]

[richard spoken: sorry about that, he’s speaking in some obscure australia dialect. um, i’ll just speak back to him. excuse me for just a moment… wadda f-ckin’ git a f-ck oh git a f-ck and aw git a f-ckin aw go git a⁠— laurie you’re not taking the car out laurie. no, nah, nolene nah get f-cked wadda mole git f-cked… sorry]

[tim spoken: he’s nodding. remember, son: just say no…to books]

[paul spoken: god, you’re so⁠— you are f-cking stupid, mate. you look like the sorta guy that’d get out of a bath to take a sh-t. now that everyone does believe in satan, we’d like you all to repeat after me: we are the children of satan]

[all spoken: we are the children of satan]

[paul spoken: the ball room at the -ssembly rooms is our devil’s nest]

[all spoken: the ball room at the -ssembly rooms is our devil’s nest]

[paul spoken: we want to eat your unborn children]

[all spoken: we want to eat your unborn children]

[tim spoken: may we borrow some cutlery please?]

[richard spoken: n-no, no. look, this]

[tim spoken: satan!]

[paul spoken: would you like a leg to go with that?]

[richard spoken: this has gone far enough, guys. um, i just wanna say that its been great to joke about all this stuff so far, but i think we’ve gone too far with this and i think we’ve all been bad christians tonight, all of us. hey, mate. hey, mate. jesus loves you but he hates what you’re doin’, okay? now i think we’ve all been bad christians here tonight and we all need to atone and the best way to atone is by singing a christian youth group camp song. so…]

[paul & tim spoken: no, no, no, richard no]

[richard spoken: everyone follow my example, please. everyone now, everyone’s gotta do the actions with me, so it goes like this, we go]

running and leaping and praising god

running and leaping and prais⁠—

[paul spoken: shut the f-ck up!]

[tim spoken: you may not have been keeping up with current events, rich. but we’ve all flipped to the b-side! now listen, pauly and i have our own little special version of the song. during the verse of this song we require you to clap along twice like this. every once in a while. let’s just try that on the count of three, clapping twice. one, two, three
ah yes, the old “third clap” from the australian there. there is a time difference son but try and catch up. okay? let’s show them how we kicked their -sses in gallipoli. here we go, now. let’s try it again. one, two, three
oh yes, yes, greenwich mean, stick with it. okay now, everybody up on your f-cking feet, because we have to prepare for the chorus now. stand up now]

⁠[paul spoken: okay everyone in the audience now, up on your feet, please. let’s get it really happening here, only five more minutes, or five more hours it’ll be the choice… of a younger generation. maybe you should have sat down ’cause you really are an ugly bunch]

[tim spoken: okay now, during the choruses we do the following]

running and leaping, for satan is lord
running and leaping, for satan is lord

[tim spoken: let’s just give that a quick try. one, two, three]

running and leaping, for satan is lord
running and leaping, for satan is lord

[tim spoken: okay, people. let’s really get the horns happening, as if you mean it]

[paul spoken: everyone does this. everyone. i can see little people up the back there trying to hide. thinking we can’t see them, but we can. we can f-cking see every person in this audience, i want you to, particularly tonight ,to really hit that floor hard when you come down ’cause greg proops is trying to do a show downstairs]

[tim spoken: the fish shop man]

[paul spoken: and he said there was a blood feud between us, in a national paper a few weeks ago. and, by jingo, we’re gonna win it tonight because the roof down there is quite soft still. big plaster sorta frieze on top of it, and apparently its been coming down on him almost every night. so if we can really f-cking hit that floor, and do something with our feet, let’s be positive and get the american downstairs. okay now, we’re gonna try that once more, satan is lord. this time everyone, otherwise i will be up there, and it doesn’t take me long to get up the top]

[tim spoken: okay everybody, now. as we do it i want you to all keep your eyes really wide open, as if you just spent a fortnight with some born-again christians, who love you, but won’t f-ck you!]

silver and gold, have i none (clap, clap! come on!)
but such as i have here by thee
in the name of beelzebub
of nazareth rise up and walk (here we go now)

running and leaping, for satan is lord
running and leaping, for satan is lord
running and leaping, for satan is lord
running and leaping, for satan is lord

silver and gold, have i none
but such as i have here by thee
in the name of beelzebub
of nazareth rise up and walk

[tim spoken: now, run with the wind mel!]

running and leaping, for satan is lord
running and leaping, for satan is lord
running and leaping, for satan is lord
running and leaping, for satan is lord

- doug anthony allstars lyrics

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