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douglas c begay - so alone lyrics

verse 1:
that is a piece of the puzzle
a crown is no cure for a headache
im thinking she’s planning to leave me
but i do not think that im ready
codependent and im messy
so defensive and im edgy
wonder what’s needed to numb it
i told her im planning on suicide
did it to push on her b-ttons
she told me just shut up and set it aside
i feel like im holding her hostage
i quit with the drinking im hostile
that wasn’t decision of my own
surrounded by people that i don’t
lend my concern because they won’t
they told me that sh-t so unfair
but let me just tell you what i know
y’all energy feeling disguised, honestly feeling like that of a rival
i hate that my family’s ent-tled, i hate that im biting my tongue
i hate that i stay in denial
hate that this cigarette’s k!lling my lungs
drugs on the table like what do you want?
b-tch i be talking ’bout all of the above
honestly fiending for some of that sleep
imma just take it with some of that rum
but what is the point in committing
to something that makes you unhappy?
you couldn’t relate, i couldn’t explain and honestly sh-t is so tragic

hook:
’cause i feel so alone and i just wanna go
to a place where you feel no pain, just don’t let mama know [x2]

verse 2:
i remember the moments
like talking til’ five in the morning
avoid the specifics, no need to disclose it
that p-ssy is never the motive
she said i can tell that you lying
we are alike with a similar mind, don’t think you can code it
i know what i am, i know what i’m about i come from divorces
i swear in a minute or two you keep talking like that, you’ll going to leave me no choices
so keep up the focus, just give it some time and you’ll own it
just give it some time and you’ll own it

hook:
’cause i feel so alone and i just wanna go
to a place where you feel no pain, just don’t let mama know [x2]

outro verse:
adrenaline is flowing, let it flow in my veins
i be sick of all this sh-t and i be sick of the strain
i be feeling insane, i be stuck in the same
cycle of maintaining all my minimum ways
man i swear the sh-t is critical when critics are vague
with all their bias and sh-t
walk a mile inside my shoes and y’all ent-tled to quit
let’s describe it in fact
got all the p-ssion in the world but it’s heart that i lack
that’s the proof that i be useless and i live in the past
ain’t no sense in moving forward it’s intrusive and trash
but the talent is there, you cannot strip me of that
now let the record f-cking state that y’all ain’t equal to half
and every time you ever see me imma be in my bag
and when it comes to all this music y’all be dead in the back
without a shroud of a doubt that’s just a definite fact
like what’s the point addressing them i feel i’m wasting my breath
too complacent too impatient so i’m wasted again
it’s like i’m trying to prove to people that this is drink is my friend
it’s a problem i think
i’ll f-cking drink myself to death before i follow my dreams
that’s a bitter pill to swallow, imma down it with ease

- douglas c begay lyrics

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