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dr demento - diarrhea lyrics

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i know its getting late,
and i know we had a date, lucia,
i hate to make you wait,
’cause it would be so great lucia.

and tears fall from my eyes, and i must apologise, lucia,
i’ll have to stay at home so i called you on the phone,
’cause im stuck here on the throne, with diarrhea.

i thought that it was only gas,
so i went and let one p-ss,
then i stood there in a trance,
as i filled my brand new pants.

my mother brought me soup,
but it only made me p–p, lucia,
i never should have ate,
but it sounded like a great idea..

you know it really hurts, when you got the hurshy squirts, lucia,
theres no paper paper to be seen,
so i used people magazine,
and it makes me want to scream ‘diarrhea’.

-farting noises to a tune-

i love you dear with all my heart,
but i can’t go on with liquid farts,
i wouldn’t have to break our date, if only i could constipate.

i know you got the hots,
but i really got the trots, lucia,
theres no need to scream and shout,
’cause tomorrow we’ll go out, i guarantee ya,

i know you need your man,
so i came up with a plan lucia,
i’ll take a cork and superglue,
and pound it in there with my shoe,
and then i’ll be all through, with diarrhea!

- dr demento lyrics

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