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dr. doofenshmirtz - there's a platypus controlling me lyrics

vanessa: dad?
heinz doofenshmirtz: oh, hi, vanessa!
vanessa: dad, what are you doing?
heinz doofenshmirtz: well i’ll be honest i don’t really understand
but i fell down this hill and i got glue on my hands
now i got records on my fingers
kids: whaaaat?
heinz doofenshmirtz: records on my fingers
i got records on my fingers and i just can’t stop
kids: don’t stop
heinz doofenshmirtz: i can’t stop i got a platypus controlling me
kids: whaaaat?
heinz doofenshmirtz: i got a platypus controlling me
now let me sum it up
it was a strange set of circ-mstances
kids: strange set of circ-mstances?
heinz doofenshmirtz: i fell down the hill, i got glue on my hands now i got records on my fingers
and i just can’t stop
kids: don’t stop don’t stop
heinz doofenshmirtz: well i would if i was able
there’s a platypus controlling me he’s underneath the table
kids: there’s a platypus controlling him—whaaat?
kid: oh i get it, platypus is a metaphor for whatever is keeping you down. like, corporations are a platypus
kids: the government’s a platypus
your teacher is a platypus
weird kid: my teacher is a panda
kids: society’s a platypus
my parents are a platypus
the media’s a platypus
it’s all just propaganda
yeah, we all got a platypus controlling us
heinz doofenshmirtz: no just me
kids: we all got a platypus controlling us
heinz doofenshmirtz: i’d stop if i was able
kids: we all got a platypus controlling us
heinz doofenshmirtz: i’m not speaking metaphorically
the platypus controlling me is underneath the table
oh wait, no, he’s gone!
heyyy! there’s no platypus controlling me…
there’s no platypus controlling me!

- dr doofenshmirtz lyrics

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