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dr. dreizich - the aveirah song lyrics

every song needs an introduction… because…

chorus
a song without an introduction
is like chicken soup without no lukshen
my producer just looked at me and nodded
i think he wants me to get started

testing, testing, aintz tzvai, drai

i eat a gid hanasheh every bite
i put on my left shoe before my right
you think i don’t do aveiros? don’t even wonder
i never make a brucheh when i hear the thunder,
my wife wears a sheitel, not a tichel
i eat the herring without the kichel,
i drink every night ad delo yudeh,
i never sing zemiros at the shabbos sudeh
i hang around with a goyishe oilem
i never do bikur cholim
yeah i hang out with goyim vus iz nisht gemalet
i don’t put on my paper, beis samech daled.

chorus
i spoke to my goyishe friend named boris
he wrote me up this little chorus
it breaks up the song so it doesn’t get boring
and now we’ll continue with the recording

i go to shul and i’m just chillin
i only put on one pair of tefillin
i never cry when i go to levayos
i eat the matzah, less than a kezayis
i don’t even care about chulev stam
i don’t even like be’er mayim chayim
i go to the games with derek jeter,
i always get married during sefira
i do aveiros, oid ve’oid
i never go on trips on chol hamo’ed
i never daven tefillah be’tzibur
i listen to the tapes, from justin bieber

chorus
i cruise around in my ’05 taurus
blasting out the second chorus
i feel like i’m rocking up the whole joint
and now we’re at the halfway point

i’m such a goy, vus hut du getracht
i learn the gantzeh nittel nacht,
ch-ssidim and rebbes are not my types
i wear the tzitzis without the stripes
i always say lashon hara
all my friends do avodah zara
i’m such a tzioni, i sing hatikva
i don’t even pay when i use the mikva
i changed my name to sam, from shmuel
i don’t even like eretz yisrooel
i don’t ask for a shidduch when i go to amukah
i give more than a choimesh to tzedukeh
i use the internet for the news
i do birkas kohanim with my shoes

chorus
don’t turn it down, don’t ignore us
listen up to the final chorus
i haven’t yet showed you all my cards
mir halt shoin by the line fun twenty yards

i do shnayim mikra without the targum
when i see an amaleiki i would never harg him
i’m the biggest ba’al aveiros in the velt
i never give my kids any chanuka gelt
my esrog is always full of black dots
i always make a brucheh when i wash urchatz
i eat in the sukkah on sh’mini atzeres
i toivel in the mikvah holding a sheretz
by haman’s name i always cheer
by shulem zuchers i only drink root beer
by the purim shpiel i never laugh
for afikomen i use the smaller half
i only drink gimmel koises
i eat tons of marror without charoises
rosh hashana by simanim i eat the shvantz
by my chasunah i had an aveirah tantz

chorus
too much of your time i’m already spending
so now i’m gonna take you to the ending
i hope you like and i hope you enjoy
this song about a yid who thinks he’s a goy

- dr dreizich lyrics

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