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dragon boy suede - stripper whisperer lyrics

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answering machine:
“monday, nine twenty+six, p.m.”

stripper (on phone):
“i’m so f+cking h+rny. i’m sitting back here in the dressing room touching my p+ssy and thinking about the dragon. and, it’s torture. like, i miss it so much and i’m gonna die if i don’t have it. oh my god, please f+ck me. i can’t take it anymore! i’m going to die! i’m going to die!”

stripper (in club): “hey, how’s it goin’? would you like a dance?”

dragon boy suede:
let me tell you how it’s gonna be
you’re gonna give me that dance for free
get me hot then waive the fee
then imma take you home with me

go to the dressing room and get changed
i’ll rub your back and stroke your manе
get you hot like a chicken on thе rotissera
because i’m the stripper whisperer

(whispering) wow… yeah… oooh… nice

girl stop acting like a hustler
‘cuz i ain’t tryin’ to be a customer
all i wanna do is make a connection
compliment your hair extensions
got a little treat for you
a shot of cuervo and a sugar cube
to take away all of your pain and misera
because i’m the stripper whisperer

(whispering) yeah… easy, girl. whoa, now. smooth it out… let it breathe… good… now speed it up, speed it up, faster! hyuah!

you know you’re better than the rest of these hags
throw your clothes in your stripper bag
put your bag on your stripper arm
walk out to your stripper car

press the gas with your stripper foot
drive me back to your stripper hood
take me up to your stripper room
and show me some of that stripper ooooh

(whispering) yeah. you will now dance for me. you will do it slowly and sensually. if you succeed at arousing me, you will earn dragon points… which you can later redeem… for s+x

my voice is music to a dancer’s ears
i speak in tones only they can hear
i use a secret frequency
that’s why they freak me frequently

i’ve been with blondes and i’ve been with reds
i’ve been with calicos and brunettes
i’ve even been with twin sisterers
because i’m the stripper whisperer
i like those heels but i bet they hurt
so take ’em off and blow off work
you feel that thing above my knee?
(yeah, what is it?) you tell me

i know every breed and phylum
that’s why i can mesmerize ’em
pay for a dance? that’s blasphemisera
because i’m the stripper whisperer

(whispering) yeah… you will go to the dressing room and get changed. you will not lollygag. you will not dilly+dally. you will put on your velour sweatsuit, tip out the dj, and meet me across the street at denny’s

here’s the point that most guys miss:
they think a stripper’s just a girl who strips
wrong! they are much more than that
they’re a whole different breed of cat

within that breed there’s many types
some are friendly, some will bite
some are vegan, some carnivora
me? i am the stripper whisperer

- dragon boy suede lyrics

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