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drmr - doubts lyrics

am i good enough for this world?
am i big enough to be heard?
if i blew up now, would i still feel down?
is it really what i prefer?

or should i go all my life unheard?
writing my life down, word for word
without someone listening
cuz my life’s not interesting
i’m just a regular nerd
trying to find his call in this life

but what is my call in this world that is filled to the edge
with all of this sk!ll, i would k!ll to be famous
just for the thrill of standing still in the streets
and waiting until all these people come running to me
cuz they know who i am, and what i do
they’re finding their phones to take pictures now too

but is it really what i want?
is that who i am in my heart?
cuz thinking about this desire
does not take me higher
i feel like a liar
i feel so d#mn tired
so tired of trying to be who i am
maybe i’m d#mned?
i’m running around here without a plan
feeling like i will explode like god d#mn

i lost your support, now i’m on my own
feeling alone on this overpopulated planet
my habits gets worse by the day
cuz i’m feeling betrayed by the people i love
and the guy up above in the heavens
who i gave all of my confessions
and asked for forgiveness
my only true witness
the one that’s supposed to forgive us
he didn’t forgive me
he didn’t go with me
he should have just k!lled me
cuz right now i feel like
that would be better
than walking around without purpose
and trying to purchase
every dream with my money
i gotta stop being so nervous
of breaking the surface
just punch right through it
if you want it you gotta pursue it
you gotta be ready to dive into it
or you will look back at the time where you blew it

but how do i do it?
how do i go from a guy
that’s afraid of starting conversations
and building relations
to someone with actual fans
actual plans
actually having a bit of a chance
in this impossible game
that i wanna play
pursuing the fame
pursuing the money

but i keep on telling myself
i don’t want the money
i don’t wanna be famous
i just wanna connect
i just wanna inspire
i want you to feel the fire
within me
deep in my soul
deep down withing me
i’m losing control
i’m losing my goal
if i keep on going
will i lose my soul?
i don’t know

this is the question
that i keep on asking
i’m digging a hole for myself
now i’m grasping
gasping for air
how is this fair?
i’m choking on stress now
i’m full of despair

all i really want
is to share my thoughts with the world
and observe like a bird
if i’m being confirmed
being accepted
but what if i’m actually being rejected?
people won’t care about me or my music
people won’t share it i find it confusing
how anybody can love me
the only way i would know is if
someone would show me
but who can show me if
no one will listen?
there’s no way i’ll blow
with all this competition
what do you have to do
to get some recognition?
i’m truly doubting my abilites as a musician

- drmr lyrics

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