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drowse - physical world lyrics

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growing, shrinking
i don’t take care of it
‘cause it’s “what’s inside that counts”
and i’m scared of it–

the way it binds me to the “physical world”
how it reminds me:
life’s a leaf in october

but there’s no “physical world”–
there’s “no inside or out”
air flows through the mouth
and into the blood

i wanted to see
in the third grade:
tiny
medieval sword–
from my grandfather in spain–
into my stomach

without pain
or discovery
through screams she found me
so no insides came out

i wake alone at night
with my anxious heart
running wild in my chest
a reminder
that i have a body
so it thumps harder:

“- – —, – – —”

(panic attack.)



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