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dual core - here to help lyrics

[intro]
welcome to next level tech support
please press 01 to be connected to our help desk

[verse 1: remy forbes]
all these end users calling
filling up the queues with issues and problems
this user says his computer is crawlin’
the internets slow and he can’t do his bloggin’
another one says their p-ssword’s forgotten
account locked out and now they can’t log-in

[verse 2: int80]
did i say blogging? i meant head-shottin’
every single server i try keeps droppin’
cannot win with my ping so bad
other players pointing fingers blaming me for lag (it was you)
so slow, it’s a next-gen drag
messing up my stats every map i’m getting fragged

[verse 3: remy forbes]
if you will, what’s your name bill? (no, it’s dave)
can you type your p-ssword in the username field? (what for?)
i just need to know that somewhere on your laptop
that you didn’t inadvertently press caps lock (this is stupid)
sir no need to disrespect me
i wanna make sure you’re typing it correctly

[verse 4: int80]
oh my gosh, can we move along quickly
reports need finished or my boss is gonna hit me
clearly the problem isn’t with me
i can troubleshoot the breeze, solving problems with ease
trust me, i only use my shift key
oh- that was it… that fixed me (oh man, this guy is an idiot)
what? (nothing sir)

[hook]
man, i got help desk woes (woes, woes, woes, woes)
from hr to c-e-os (os, os, os, os)
sometimes i think this job blows (blows, blows, blows, blows)
come on now, you know how it goes (goes, goes, goes, goes)
now back to the show

[verse 5: remy forbes]
finally, now i can check emails
there’s a guy claiming that he can’t send emails?
says that he needs help and he’s feeling helpless
he can’t send… how did he email the help desk?

[verse 6: int80]
here’s what happened, my spam filter died
i’m replying to these mails where it says unsubscribe
but it must be a lie, or so i get the feelin’
windows popping up and i can’t seem to k!ll ’em
it’s not that the client won’t send or receive it
but the interface is covered and i just can’t see it

[verse 7: remy forbes]
sir try this, sounds like a virus
disconnect your box from the network appliance
boot up your computer hit f8 so
windows can then start to boot up in safe mode
then run av scan cause apparently
this rogue code has infected your registry
i hope this can fix it, seems like bad luck
i hope this guy has been running daily backups

[verse 8: int80]
daily back what? are my files recovered?
is that some kind of program? i’ve never heard of it
if you don’t get my files back now then there’s trouble
do i need to spell it out cause i’m not being subtle
oh, no worries, hang on the line
let me run this antivirus 2009

(fffffffffuuuuuuuuuu-)

[verse 9: remy forbes]
i was helping out the mother of a friend of a friend
of my ex-roomma- forget it, let me begin
she was in need of help and that much was clear, see
and this so-called friend of mine volunteered me
so i called her on the phone
she didn’t seem to understand
one single thing i was talking about
i said, “close all your windows”
she came back and said
“ok, i closed all the windows in the house.”
no ma’am, not those windows…
no, your computers aren’t gonna get cold…
no, that’s not how you get viruses…
ma’am, i don’t think i can help you

[outro: remy, int80]
ok, sir, now i want you to press any key to continue
(which one is the “any key”?)

ok, did you find it?
(aha)
now click your right mouse b-tton
(i only have one mouse)

ok, sir, is your computer plugged in?
(i don’t know)
what do you mean you don’t know
(i can’t tell)
you can’t tell?
(i mean, it’s dark. the power is out.)
your power is out?
(yeah)
ah man
(am i online now?)

- dual core lyrics

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