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dumboii - ptsd lyrics

i’m reminiscing, relapse, everybody want me gone
so dig a grave six foot under, that’s where i belong
i’ve been fighting in this world for way too f+cking long
messed up every chance, but this time i’ll be gone
i know you don’t like it when i tell you i hurt
so i fake a smile, act happy and i flirt
i know you caught me trynna end it all
i’m sorry and i promise that it ain’t your fault
but all the trauma i’ve been through, well it’s been f+cking with my head
and not gonna lie, but i’d be better off dead
but suicide, i won’t try it again
my heart is broken
and my mind is racing
i don’t deserve you, i mean let’s face it
i broke your heart and left you crying
i was in the dark, i got a knife and
cut my arms, went to the bridge
tried to jump, i am selfish
only thought about my pain
lately i’ve been goin’ insane
‘cos living without you, well it just ain’t the same
‘cos when i had you
i knew everything would be alright
so when i had to leave
i left all my hope behind
‘cos i never thought that i’d be hours away
never thought i wouldn’t see your pretty face, yeah
i’m sick of the flashbacks
and i’m sick of the nightmares
i’m sick of them coming back
and destroying my day, yeah
oh, i’m sick of the flashbacks
yeah, i’m sick of the nightmares
said i’m sick of them coming back
they’re destroying my day, oh
yeah, oh
f+ck this ptsd

lately i’ve been feeling low
don’t really wanna fight
so i keep my pain all on the inside
i only let it out at nighttime
when everyone’s sleeping
they’re peacefully sleeping
keep dreaming of sweet things
keep dreaming, counting sheep
i know that i act like a d+ckhead
but i’m just trynna hide my pain
so to my family i’m sorry
i let you down for my sake
and to all those blood relatives
you aren’t my family
love is family
and blood is pain
and pain is what you put me through
oh yeah, ‘cos now
i’m sick of the flashbacks
and i’m sick of the nightmares
i’m sick of them coming back
and destroying my day, yeah
oh, i’m sick of the flashbacks
yeah, i’m sick of the nightmares
said i’m sick of them coming back
they’re destroying my day, oh
yeah, oh
f+ck this ptsd
f+ck this ptsd
i said, f+ck i…
i said f+ck this ptsd
and f+ck my so+called ‘dad’
bro, i wish i could bring back sam
and baby girl, i needa hold you now

- dumboii lyrics

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