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east coast avengers - a valiant effort lyrics

[verse 1: trademarc]

my ears are ringing, it’s like children singing or
humming
i’m numb and i’m thinking it’s nothing
i’m confused by the booze and medication
it’s modern-day meditation
my generation sees that combination as an expectation
half-done, i’m moving in slo-mo
through an imitation of life, it’s like an ill-stration
or a photo
but the perspective ain’t right
it’s like the lights cast by a yo-yo in midflight
it’s too bright, i’m confused and lost
i feel transparent and barren and used
like a red herring tossed and forced in my own thoughts
with no bearing
black to light, back to life and i breathe in
i sit up, i’m light headed, the world is out of focus
i know this, i try to get up, i instantly regret it
i spit up, i don’t get it, the glow, the world looks
overexposed
or like a negative with shadows where the colours
should go and vice versa
i’m thrown by the ring of the phone like inertia
flown like a cyclone, head spinning
still blown from the beginning, i’m sitting in front of
my body
now on the bed, dead grinning, a red linen, brain
spilling
conflicted, the wounds looks self-inflicted like it’s
scripted
a knock on the door, i feel distant like staring
backwards
through binoculars, inconsistent, the picture fades
i’m non-existent but i’m persistent, i wanna stay!
you can’t see me this way, i love you momma!

[verse 2: esoteric]

aw sh-t, what the f-ck did i walk into?
my man’s a bl–dy mess up in his room, he cut his flesh
drugged up like hunter s., must’ve been under stress
nonetheless he flunked the test, succ-mbing to life’s
ugliness
a gun to his chest and head, a knife to his wrists, he
bled
twisted lead’s f-cked him up like his sister said
plus erica left him for some war on terror veteran
now he’s dying in the bed they never slept in
i crept in and saw the blood on the hand that his
writing pen was kept in
that his medical depression was prepped in
suicide, glazed over as poetic expression, a valiant
effort
i had the chance to step in but said, “f it”
dawg, why’d you do this to us? you know what this crew
is to us
your mom tried this sh-t in ‘91 now she’s dialing 911
i think your time has come, this being the top one
dumbest things you ever done
i know your life is erased, no one ever could have won
you’d rather dream than live now my head is hung

- east coast avengers lyrics

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