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eddie murphy - faggots revisited/sexual prime lyrics

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f+ggots aren’t allowed to look
at my ass while i’m on stage !

that’s why i keep moving while i’m up here
you don’t know where the f+ggot section is, you gotta keep moving

so if they do see it, quick, you switch, they don’t get no long stares at your sh+t…so that their imagination is flowing about my…

i know when you’re looking, ‘cos my ass starts to get hot

i’m afraid of g+y people. petrified
i have nightmares about g+y people

i have this nightmare that i go to hollywood and find out that mr. t is a f+ggot

really, and he’d be walking up to people going:

“hey, boy ! hey, boy !”
“you look mighty cute in them jeans !”
“now come on over here, and f+ck me up the ass !”
“i’m gonna bend over now!”
“hey, boy, slow down ! you’re gonna miss the round, and come too fast !”
“you make me get get mad i clench up my b+ttcheeks and rip your d+ck off!”
you know who would be a funny f+ggot?

ralph kramden and ed norton!

ralph kramden leaning out the window and:

“norton! come on down, i wanna show you somethin’!”
“ralphie+boy, whaddaya say there pal of mine ?”
“you know norton, i’ve been watching you
and i know you’ve been watching me. you watch me! i know!”

“so, ralph, what are you gettin’ at?”
“norton, my friend! how would you like to f+ck me up the ass?”
“i know you wanna f+ck me, norton!”
“and you know that i know that you know that i know that you wanna f+ck me!”
“now i’m gonna bend over, and when i do, start f+ckin’!”
“here i go!”
“[groans] hamana hamana hamana”
“way to go there, ralphie+boy!”

i kid the h0m+s+xuals a lot, because they’re h0m+s+xuals

i f+ck with everybody. i don’t give a f+ck if they’re…

just like i’m… i don’t mean anything by it
you can hang out with a g+y person

them guys don’t feel, you know, alienated, like, g+y people, because they’re g+y

you can play tennis with a g+y person
really! just after the game you say:

“i’m gonna get a beer, what’s you gonna do?”
“i think i’m gonna suck some guy’s d+ck.”
“well, i’ll see you later!”
“you go suck that d+ck, i’m gonna have the beer.”

ladies are hip to it too

ladies be hanging out with g+y people

ladies be saying:

“g+y men are the best friends to have!”
“because they don’t want anything from you, you don’t want anything from them, you just hang out, you can be with them and get fun and just talk to them” and all that bullsh+t, and they be hanging out with them

you know what’s really scary about it? that new aids sh+t

aids is scary because it k!lls motherf+ckers, aids!
that ain’t like the good old days when venereal disease was simple. in the good old days, you got gonorrhea, you d+ck hurt, go get a shot, cleared right up

then they came out with herpes, you keep that sh+t forever like luggage

and now they got aids that just k!lls motherf+ckers. i say what’s next, i guess you just put your d+ck in it and explodes!

and the girl would be on the bed:

“maybe i should see a doctor about it…”

k!lls people! it petrifies me because girls be hanging out with them. one night they could be in the club having fun with their g+y friend, give them a little kiss. and go home with aids on their lips!
and then when her husband, like five years later, somebody says;

“mr. johnson you have aids..”
“aids?! but i’m not h0m+s+xual!”
“sure you’re not h0m+s+xual…”

all the diseases scare me because i’m like these…these are f+ck years for me, like i’m…
i’m in my s+xual prime, this, i f+ck now!

these are the years to f+ck! this is when you do your best f+cking. and you just start to learn your body and getting it on your shoulders on to f+ck…

like 18 year olds, let me hear you all in the audience!

see y’all don’t know how to f+ck yet, see. you don’t

you get 22 you start moving all this sh+t

making faces, ever made them f+ck faces. it’s a cool motherf+cking thing

you don’t do that when you’re 18. there’s just one expression ‘cos you be surprised you f+cking her. plus you don’t have no d+ck control when you’re 18!

ever been sitting around when you was young man, just sitting in class, your d+ck gets hard for nothing?

you be just sitting there and your d+ck’s here:

“hey what’s going on out there?”

that’s when the teacher say:

“mr murphy, would you come over by the board?”
“no, that’s alright. i’ll take the zero.”

really, no d+ck control at all. it’s even hard to find the p+ssy when you’re 18. ever had that guys? you’d be searching for the p+ssy down there. and your d+ck be sliding down and sh+t, and the girl be going:

“that’s not it…”
“is there any problem?”
“no, ain’t no problem, baby.”
“you got a shoe h+rn or some sh+t like that?”

and this is the business to be in if you want some p+ssy. that’s why i got in show business, for p+ssy. i figured, if jimmy walker can f+ck, i’m f+cking everybody. f+ck this, and it’s like that too

when you do tv+shows, women would be throwing p+ssy at me on the street like frisbee

“ed!”
“thank you! appreciate that!”

too much p+ssy, p+ssy would be falling outta my pocket. walking out the street:

“oh, watch your step, that’s mine.”

being a comic though ain’t like being no singer. the singers get all the p+ssy. like the bus boys: they f+ck everybody

bus boys will f+ck anything that moves

come to my house the fish stop swimming. they don’t play. singers gets p+ssy. because you don’t have to, even you don’t have to look good, you can sing and get p+ssy. just be interesting

because this s+x symbol is getting p+ssy and is ugly motherf+cker. because all you have to do is sing, its something about singing that is the business, you sing, women go crazy

- eddie murphy lyrics

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