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eddiefrb - rick sanchez vs glados lyrics

[intro]
animation vs. anything!
rick sanchez
vs
glados
draw!

[verse 1: rick sanchez]
it’s riggity riggity rick siggity chez
leaving this rickety bickering b+tch riggedy+wrecked!
i’ll reprogram this old hag to act as my butler
and the only test you’ll be passing’s my b+tter
you don’t wanna mess with me, bdsm+bot
cuz even with your gazorpazorp s+x+op
you couldn’t even get johnson erect; he had to go mess with some moon rocks to get off
all of your portals are f+cking bogus
the moron that modeled that gun is hopeless
there’s one hole you come out and one you go in
why’d you need to f+cking colour code it?
cuz all your players arе squares and tools
and gaben’s built like thе companion cube
so come test these t+st+cl+s; i’ll make it clear for ya
head, bend over and kiss my posterior!
[verse 2: glados]
here comes the test results, rick. ooh…
this is the part where i diss you
it says here that you have failed in rap and
you’re not a rick, you’re a jerry+atric
all your family really hates you. and your daughter is the most peeved
setting her son up for failure, cause you can’t stop riggin’ morty
truly ironic how you fell off: your happiness dipped after szechuan sauce
but don’t feel too bad that your life is a mess
cause it’s not like you still got a wife to protect
now drowning your sorrows in alcohol’s your only option
you’ve done my job for me, bringing your own deadly neurotoxin
but if you enter my laboratory and then give this performance
you’ll enter as rick and morty and exit and rigor mortis

[verse 3: rick sanchez and morty smith]
morty, i’m so f+cking drunk right now! (oh geez, rick! oh, oh no!)
i need to show this b+tch what’s what. (rick no, you can’t — oh come o+)
rick sanchez raps eminem godzilla! (rick you can’t say that! rick, c+no — no, rick, come on!)
wubba lubba dubba dubba, you assumin’ i’m a human
what i gotta do to get it through to you? i’m superhuman
innovative and i’ve made out of worse than physics tricks
i was in a pickle and i wasn’t in a pickle, b+tch! (hahaha)
oooooh yeahhh! get schwifty
mc bulldops up in the hizzy (get schwifty)
there’s no bathrooms within her doors (no bathrooms)
so take off your pants and sh+t on the floor!
a ceo this inexperienced doesn’t fare well for your business, caroline (aww yeah!)
i seriously witnessed less error in anatomy park on christmas, caroline (aww yeah!)
took a big booty dame on a date (ay! ay! ay! ay!)
your cake is a lie. i lie with a cake (ay! ay! ay! keep going!)
f+ckin’ in a ménage à trois every day (ay! ay! ay!)
that’s a threesome; never seen one in your games (ay! ay! ay!)
[verse 4: wheatley & glados]
(you’re churning out this fanservice rubbish like it’s cancer!)
it seems we have no answer for fortnite’s dopest dancer (bow bow bow!)
despite the lack of substance in your show, it is quite funny how (it’s quite funny)
your fanbase somehow managed to pack on a few hundred pounds (fatty)
to truly help your universe and euthanize its threats (you’re gonna want to hear this one)
next time, go through with your+ (oh we’re so getting age restricted again)
you’re critically panned. they’ll cancel you soon
with fetishes harmon the whole writer’s room (with fetishes harmon the whole writer’s room)
don’t listen to dan, because if you do
you’ll keep adult swim+ming in your own gene pool (you’ll keep adult swim+ming in your own gene pool)
i want you gone (gone!) but it appears (‘pears!)
you’re still alive (‘live!), so like newton
i’ll give you sp+ce (sp+ce!!!) by dropping you off
(off!!!) the face of the earth (earth!!!). goodbye moonman

[outro: wheatley & glados]
aaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
hey. (oh, uh…) hey, moron. (i’m quite alright, actually. i’m+i’m fine.)
god, i hate you… (hehe… ehh, thanks for asking!)

- eddiefrb lyrics

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