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eden hill - afraid lyrics

[verse 1]
look i don’t even know where to begin
probably i should start looking within
and find the broken bits of me that hide discretely underneath the my skin
i need the light to start revealing all of them (when)
i’m broken really i need to be fixed and
patched together maybe tighten up all of the stitches
i used to think that god was just a genie i could call on really easy
only use him just to grant me all my wish list
maybe i could get a bit of this
maybe i could get a bit of that
come on god i’m doing what you’rе asking
but i’m masking what’s inside my heart
it’s nothing but a selfish plеad and act (facts)
i don’t really know how to react
maybe i should just go off my path (tracks)
maybe i should change all my beliefs and really reason with myself ’cause recently
i just don’t know where god is at (yeah) (no)
he’s more than that i know he’s got a plan
got my hands folded
really i just wanna understand (woah)
here’s the truth i know i’m just a man
kinda bland
and without the lord i wouldn’t even stand (growth)
is what i need to really comprehend
not pretend
that i know all of what is happening (notes)
are what i keep on taking in my head
yeah i said it and i know that what i’m saying’s kinda bent
[verse 2]
i feel psychotic
see i never saw it coming
i ain’t gotta have it
nah he ain’t that cunning
all he wanna tell me is a lie
he bluffing
now i’m confronting
with the truth
that’s stunning
i’m coming for the enemy and all the regrets
he’ll try to put in my head to make me wanna be dead
but i got the holy spirit and he gave me my breath
the sword is a threat to him and all of his little pets
i’m overflowing with his water overtaking the stress
and i got it going for me lyrically i’m blessed
i’ve been picked out of the sin i had he called me elect
and you can see the transformation grace is taking effect
i need some respect so much i didn’t really expect
the things i detect to get inside the depth of my chest
every week i see my therapist don’t mean i’m upset
’cause my mind is going places man it’s causing a wreck

[verse 3]
(make a list) gotta write the thoughts i have
(makes me sick) but i got to have a laugh
(what is this) i don’t know i had to ask
(i’ll dismiss) all the holes i have to patch
mind has met its match strong when it attacks
now i’m taking back put this on the track
staying on the path though i tend to crash
thoughts can clash when my thinking goes unlatched
i get tired of listening to all of this bad news
i get inside my head when i listen to sad tunes
it’s like i’m climbing up a mountain filled with some sand dunes
and i’d do all i can just in order to have you
cure all my depression and get rid of my bad moods
see honestly i’m the epitome of a man who’s
decisions got him into situations he can’t choose
i’m running up a hill to paradise with my track shoes
i’m getting pretty weary see i probably need rest
praying that i get it honestly just to reset
bring him all my burdens will his yoke help me destress
he pulled me out of darkness when i used to be depressed
the enemy keeps trying me and bringing up regrets
and making me ashamed of me see shame is a deep threat
attacking my identity i feel like a reject
but i know that i’m not i got the truth and it defends
[verse 4]
i got my armor on
and now i’m covered by the righteousness i ponder on
and all the little things i need to fix but charge upon
inside my mind and all the little bits i’ve plotted on the problems on
so i tell ’em ’bout the journey that they had me on
the valleys gone i made it through i’m gladly done
see the other side of everything that passed me on
i have beyond the little things attacking on

[outro]
will it drown me all the weight i’m packing on
it surrounds me kinda like unpacking bombs
head is pounding but i keep on standing strong
gotta ground me looking down the land is gone
i’ll admit i may have got a little carried away
while letting go of the past send it to rot in a grave
will it reanimate and hunt me down and bury my face
inside the shame and the regrets i built i’m kind of afraid

- eden hill lyrics

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