egoraptor - luigi's ballad lyrics
luigi:princess peach,
won’t you listen to my speech?
i don’t have any stars of invincibility.
but you’re the brightest star in the sky tonight for me,
i’m your luigi!
mario: what up, b-tch?!
i got a 1up, b-tch!
what’s inside that question block?
it’s my d-ck!
it’s-a-me a-mario;
i’m more italian than pastrami,
i’ll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami!
i saved you from dragons and evil boos that are spooky!
must i be a racc–n to get inside your tanooki?
i will mount you like yoshi and show you things you’ve never seen!
my mushroom’s now mega if you know what i mean,
so suck it!
luigi: mario,
you always do this sh-t!
i like a girl and you ruin it!
by yelling stuff about your d-ck,
until they go away!
peach: hey, luigi, it’s okay!
that mario’s a bit risqué,
just tell me what you need to say!
please don’t be afraid!
luigi: oh, princess!
it means so much for me to hear you say that.
the only thing i’ve ever wanted to tell you is that-
god d-mn it!
mario: i’m here to pleasure that -ss!
i’d like to go first, princess, but i always c-m last,
and you say we’ll get together but i’m jackin’ off alone,
koopa troopa skeletons aren’t the only dry bones!
i am tired of your run-around, it’s such a f-ckin’ h-ssle,
i go through sh-t and then you’re in another f-ckin’ castle!
you gotta think about it? well i dont believe the hype
you’ll have a lot of time to think when you are smokin’ on my warp pipe!
peach: omg!
i can’t decide on which of you should be the quy to take me on a mustache ride that’ll redefine my life!
luigi & peach: i’m ready to give a shot!
it’s not about how many coins you got,
i just know i like you a lot!
mario: yo sl-ts! check out my yacht!
luigi: let me take you on a magic kart ride!
mario: i’ll bust all yo’ balloons when i smack your backside!
luigi: we’ll have some fun, i’ll bring my friends along.
mario: i’ll kick that donkey kong right in his konkey dong!
come on, peach! it’s time to make your choice!
i’m the only plumber that can make your b–bies rejoice!
green lanky–ss brother ain’t got sh-t on me!
it’s time to live out our story of the princess and the pea! (nis)
[music stops]
mario: so, who’s it going to be princess?
peach: i choose… toad!
mario & luigi: toad?
peach: well, his whole body’s shaped like a d-ck…
mario & luigi: oh yeah yeah definitely, toads are shaped like d-cks
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