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el gringo - dark unclean secret lyrics

verse 1:
some call it depression
aggression
dealing with pressure
pull the blade back and the blood starts reshing
oh my lord, that feels refreshing
why must you always be messing?
eventually we a need a way to stop stressing
the blade is our besting
tool, the result of never resting
always our nerves testing
it’s not always external, called names and texting
internal struggle is the nesting
of all our angst and fears
we can tell when the end is near
we can feel better by blades then even beer
schizophrenic cutters are the real seers
dis-ssembling razors or nice sharp knives from sears
all because you’re against us who different, from uglies to queers
this is not a plea for help ya hear!
this is a way of dealing with all my emotion
i am not appealing from any new motion
other than for the blades to stop, but that would need a potion
just a small portion
for us missed abortions
slitting
hitting
biting
anyway to keep the bidding
of our internal demons at pay
be for they slay our brains
and bring us pains
beyond anything we’ve felt any other day
but really no one will hear what i say
no one will feel what i pray
no one will care what i mean
no one understands that this is me
a messed up little boy from socal
using music to soothe his fairly local
pain away
the slain await
heavens doors? nah h-lls gates
is what the fates
have written for my death date
at any rate
i’m rambling
i’m bambling
there are many addictions, from smoke to gambling
but cuttings the one some folks are handling
including me
me, the quiiin
me, the mean
lean green cutting machine
nah, red suits me better
while i’m in my bed writing this letter
a mattress on the floor
what could be setter?
but i’m cr-psh-t, ima a boar
get ready cause ima do all your wh-r-s
but first let me get back to the appeal
let us not forget the shpeal
i can’t wait and test while my scars heal
let me the freshen them up
all my cuts
worse in appearance than cheap sl-ts
worse in att-tude than muts
but spitting is a must
it’s that or inhaling dust
off
to get higher
than a lier
than some weed and a lighter
back to the topic my friends
before my blade dulls and bends
i must make amends
i’m pleading for my life
but i know i’ll die from my internal strife

verse 2:
some pains inside
some of the slain hide
within plain sight
training aside
slit wrists are normal, both sides
inner and outer arm
the result of us being harmed
by ourselves and others, self hatred has been farmed
incarn
-ated
ourselves are the hated
both good and ill fated
our self confidence has faded
self worth has been traded
our death has been slated
for soon, before we’ve been mated
before new life can be created
we brought this upon ourselves
we’ve condemned ourselves to personal h-lls
but i say forget that!
sure i cut
maybe theyre a sl-t
we are all racial mutts!
but i’ve had enough
leaving this life is a must
i have a l-st
for death
the best
rest
back to death’s nest
all cause you destroyed our trest
we failed the true test
but that dont make us any less
than the rest
ain’t n-body gonna take my life from me
ain’t n-body gonna leave no strife with me
i’m n-body so i’m gonna put a rifle to me
head and practice my riferly
everyone trying to stifle me
everyone thinks i’m a trifling b
your the end to my revelry
i’m the end to your rivalry
just end it all
done with walking down these halls
i ain’t got no b-lls
never gone shopping at the mall
more than a burden, lal
knock me down when i’m learning to crawl
and then walk sea like tral
lalalal
meanwhile i just want to end it all
everyone just scr-w-ng around
when i bring something up i get put down
told i belong in the pound
told i’ve snorted to many pounds
d-mn crowds
so loud
so proud
to look round
at the not yet found
everyone’s for stuff hidden
which we would rather be ridden
of but instead with holes were riddled
not ours but by others hands were fiddled
just end! just end!
that all i want, i’m smart won’t bend
refusing to make amends
refusing the trends
i tend
to ascend
to extend
my hand to those penned
i wish i had a godsend
but death is imped
ing
no attempt is made to defend
my life
and strife
that’s rife
that’s way to hyped
i’ve been condemned
to h-ll by bells
i’ve reached the final dead end
he end of the downtrend
i’ve made the final descent

- el gringo lyrics

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