elemental zazen - wanted to be lyrics
verse 1:
i feel the weight of my mistakes lying awake
dying to escape the fear that flying creates
it’s too late for crying or denying your fate
buying the stock in a quick fix and trying to make due
take the sick dreams and parents that hate you
scared to disappoint with no one to relate to
prepared to flip a coin, see wherever it takes you
they just berate you nothing better awaits you
spread the apathy disease to our seeds
till we believes needs can never be appeased
till the fire burns a million and whatever degrees
until your consumed by chance and can’t remember to breathe
believe it’s all the same, shadows and rain
hang me from the gallows and drain my blood through the shallowest vein
shackle my frame tack my ankles and my back till it snaps
till they clap and only silence remains with the shame
staring at flames, entranced by the dance contained
the stormy weather is a measure that can never be changed
chorus (toussaint):
wanted to be a doctor, an architect, maybe a lawyer
now look at me, i’m a survivalist, an everyday struggler
time standing still, when you feel, you wanna keep me from drowning
wanted to be me, i wanted to be
can you relate to the feeling
apathetic revealing
your mindstate deflated till the pain is the ceiling
your mindstate deflated till your drained and your reeling
hoping to catch yourself cause the mundane ain’t appealing
revealing ways to accept the gaze of the grey sky
that saves what it sets ablaze
a catch phrase of cliches, neglect in spades
everyone stays in the maze till their debts are paid
the razor blades take aim
parades of blame
it’s strange, a d-mn shame what the sadness claims
average and plain what the madness tamed
a place with no trace
a face with no name
so feign interest in these words of distress
do anything you can to impress your princess
stress what you obsess oven till the gin sets in
time to confess that your scared of success
keep my head up high, do my best to p-ss this test
feel her kiss and begin to feel alive in this mess
chorus (toussaint):
wanted to be a doctor, an architect, maybe a lawyer
now look at me, i’m a survivalist, an everyday struggler
time standing still, when you feel, you wanna keep me from drowning
now i can see it’s not the way that i planned, but still something beautiful
wanted to be an athlete, a movie star, maybe a writer
now look at me, sometimes it’s so hard to look in the mirror
staring at the sky, try to understand what i’m here for
wanted to be me, i wanted to be
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