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eli the guy - the love lost in river city lyrics

[intro]
the child is still in pain
do+do+do+dah+dah, ba+do+do, bah+ah, do+do, ba+da+ba+da+da (mmm, eli, look)

[verse]
lately can’t shake it, undermedicated, hate because it’s easiest (do+do+do)
speaking out of anger, all my lane, i’m in the median (dah+dah, ba+do+do)
defensive when i’m speaking, since a child, been disobedient (bah+ah)
always had spite, but had trouble when receiving it (do+do, ba+da+ba+da+da)
always had strife, pops told me not to bleed in it and keep it pushing (do+do+do+dah+dah)
watch closely while i bleed, come and peep the footage (ba+do+do)
watch closely while i bleed, it’s deeper than the recent pеace (bah+ah, do+do, ba+da+ba+da+da)
this is relief, thе years are holding on
pr+ne to loath and loss, closing off, couldn’t tell a soul (do+do+do+dah+dah)
i was only eight when trauma called, sharks was all inside the water, blame myself, it’s all on me (oh, do+o+o+o)
i was only a child, felt something was wrong with me (do+gon+do, went to+)
felt i had to be the toughest, overcompensating (do+do+do+dah+dah)
had to keep running, i could never have that conversation (ba+do+do)
lashing out at dumb sh+t, filled with anger, no justification (bah+ah)
had to be the toughest, all the product of that situation (ba+da+ba+da+da)
can’t break the walls, feel like they’re breaking me (do+do+do+dah+dah)
i was only eight, i can’t keep blaming me (ba+do+do)
never that easy though, these walls, years in the making, breaking free (bah+ah)
it feel impossible, these walls are part of me (ba+da+ba+da+da)
defense mechanisms is volatile, trauma crawling on me (do+do+do+dah+dah)
wasn’t strong enough to stop it though, trauma crawling on me (ba+do+do)
left me unrecognizable, left me inside the matrix with tribulations and trials (bah+ah)
distorted self+image, the blurry picture to file (ba+da+ba+da+da)
the smile is always a frown when your world upside down (do+do+do)
cause a ruckus, hiding behind the tears of a clown (dah+dah)
when i drown, i was only a child (oh, do+o+o+o)
inside these shark+infested waters, i got lost in the wild (do+gon+do, went to+)
mmm, river city
tell me what you’re looking for, what do you desire (oh+do+do+dah+dah)
rock designer just to look important, what you tryna hide (ba+do+do)
on my own i keep it pushing, tryna heal my inner child (bah+ah)
false grin crooked, try our best to wear its smile (ba+da+ba+da+da)
everybody been hurting, seen some sh+t they never talk about (do+do+do+dah+dah)
a cold as closed curtains, in these jordans, gonna walk them out (ba+do+do)
struggle being open, felt some sh+t i never talk about (bah+ah)
i was just a child, with innocence and a lost and found (ba+da+ba+da+da)
i was just a child when neighborhood tried to hawk him down (do+do+do+dah+dah)
ain’t n0body found him, unresolved, wish i could find him now (ba+do+do)
now a n+gga grown, try that sh+t again, i’m stronger now (bah+ah)
now that n+gga grown, try that sh+t again, i’m+ uh (ba+da+ba+da+da)
now i’m twenty+two, through the years, the tears fall (do+do+do+dah+dah)
so many knuckles bruised from wishing you was the wall (ba+do+do)
so many petty scuffles at school, fights in the halls (bah+ah)
lashing out for all the times that i felt too small (ba+da+ba+da+da)
even still i’m insecure (do+do+do+dah+dah)
lashing out at homies, n+gga save your reassurance (ba+do+do)
i’m destined to be lonely, n+gga i was just a kid, and still a child because of it (bah+ah)
finally it’s time to stop running unconfident (ba+da+ba+da+da)
cause we all was only children with innocence in the lost and found (do+do+do+dah+dah)
we was only children when neighborhood tried to hawk him down (ba+do+do)
ain’t n0body found him, unresolved, wish we could find him now (bah+ah)
now we all grown, try that sh+t again, we stronger now (ba+da+ba+da+da)
mmm, mmm (do+do+do+dah+dah, ba+do+do)
i was just a child, with innocence and a lost and found (bah+ah)
i was just a child when neighborhood tried to hawk him down (ba+da+ba+da+da)
ain’t n0body found him, unresolved, wish i could find him now (oh+do+do+dah+dah)
now a n+gga grown, try that sh+t again, i’m stronger now (oh, do+o+o+o)
mmm, now a n+gga grown, try that sh+t again, i’m stronger now (do+gon+do, went to+)
[outro]
cause when you hit a certain age you start to reflect (do+do+do+dah+dah, ba+do+do)
you hit a certain age in life, man, you start to reflect (bah+ah)
and then you start looking back on all them things you thought mattered (ba+da+ba+da+da)
and you start yo realize none of it did (oh+do+do+dah+dah)
because the only thing that mattered was your personal happiness (oh, do+o+o+o, do+gon+do, went to+)
your sanity, your ability to deal
and the rest of this sh+t is just sh+t
it comes and goes
all of that f+cking sh+t comes and goes
the only things that mattered was your personal happiness

- eli the guy lyrics

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