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elijah hook - dillema of insurance lyrics

verse i
running in circles
chasing the purple
formula like prince
light skinned like prince
can’t trust my kin like it’s the haitian revolution
screaming f+ck the cops
we need a bunch of revolutions
i got privileges dark skinned
sisters and brothers ain’t got
europe does to n+ggas what fame did to x and pac
swallow my insecurities
they only try to choke me
like hamburg hospital securities
rest in peace william tonou mbobda
never do i wanna k!ll another rapper
i want to k!ll the oppressor in mе
black capitalism ain’t sh+t
in fact, it makes me sick
corporate companiеs bought into my clique
i went bananas and split

there is a thin line from being inspired and mimicking
i understand how toxic masculine i have been
today i’m dealing with deconstructing the pattern of patriarchy
that weighs heavy on me
i was at the bottom kicking down
telling myself i’m a real man
lift one up give her the crown
found i acting like a clown
systematic evil
the individual before the collective
being for love takes practice

chorus i
beautiful
my beautiful people
beautiful
my beautiful people
beautiful
verse ii
the color of uncertainty i wear it all the time
i return only to find what is left of mine
i would like to think that i have lost the interest of ownership
but that’s not true
i care for dignity and pride
anxious with my dreams
i can taste the fruits of my labor

too often i’m reminded of my color
too often i’m uncertain of security and insurance
both become a state that i’m unfamiliar with
when i think i want to be integrated and socialized
in their ways something inside me dies
oppress or be uncertain i oppress for so little
a pad on the shoulder
you have done well, we need more of you
uncertain, uneducated, unaware black people

- elijah hook lyrics

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