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elijvh - all or nothing lyrics

[intro]
it’s that time
okay

[verse 1]
moment of clarity from my chest
i got issues that were unaddressed
put my ass into one big mess
pieces from my inner growth, i guess
picture me pressing up cds
yeye seeing stars from her son at nineteen
friends saying you gon’ be the next big thing
you believe it while you chase a dream
college wasn’t really my thing
my father wanted me to have a college degree
compton was his home, wanted more for me
i couldn’t face him, when i said i had to leave
i said i had to leave
trust me, then we’d rarely even speak
he didn’t know what i really wanna be
but i trust these instincts
i know i signed up for the long game
i know it’s f+cked up in the rap game
but i had this inner voice that would light my way
i was tired of being broke with my thrifted js
years passed me by
nothing came my way
except failed business plans every night and day
stuck in a four by eight
making beats all day
watching peers blow up while i’m sitting in place
meanwhile, i ain’t even answer calls from my family to chase this chase
while the years passed by and nothing still ain’t changed
doing pomona shows for fame
whipping an 04 honda down beverly way
thinking patience been part of the game
while i’m in comfort inn writing raps on a shattered iphone and a paper tray
for real
and it just keeps on going

[verse 2]
workaholic and an alcoholic
bad combination
mix that with the women that i seem to stay with
they love me then they hate me on a rotation
afraid to commit yet i’m quick to bases
playing mind games yet i truly hate it
i truly hate it
i always do it and i truly hate it
but i know my intentions stays genuine
had trauma as a kid from the age of nine
saw my relatives divorce or they’d fuss and fight
that made me really overthink of my wedding time
my dad divorced two women throughout his lifetime
my mother had trouble finding the right guy
i got this music career to make mine
so i’ve been losing all these women just to make time
thoughts of my unborn children haunt me to this day
i just want to bring hope and a future where they got it made
is that okay?
that’s why i’m thankful for the ones who uplift me in my circle
from tukes to kaine to shorter to kris to meli
kevin and both of the hel brothers
i’m grateful
from david to matt to phoenix to yelle
eloise
abe
bender
i’m grateful
to all my friends, i’m grateful
and to my blood, i’m grateful
for the woman fallen out my life
i’ll still love you till the day i die
that’s an oath from a tie that binds
aye
right

[verse 3]
sacrificed time for the spotlight
couldn’t count on all my hustles through the moonlight
dark as it was, i had foresight
couldn’t tell you why i wasn’t doing things right
your brothers looked at me to shine bright
nah, i ain’t finna stop on a green light
man, you watched me grow into a young knight
despite me grinding while your texts shined
you loved me unconditional
i hope you hear this in the afterlife
madeline knows her baby always gotta grind
coming straight out of compton onto west vine
tell uncle terry he’s my idol
a role model when i’m on the mic
tell my older cousin mark that i need his light
my older brother overlooking standing by my side
that’s right
i know i didn’t call when you tried to ring
i know i didn’t text you when my phone rang
i know i stayed distant through the peak of things
now i ask daeshanay for forgiveness
god, i hope that she’s listening
went to her funeral, and d+mn, you and i spent that day sharing tears
man, i can’t lie
we can’t turn back from a hand of time
you’ve been an angel in the starlight
i wasn’t at your funeral to say goodbye
selfishly chasing dreams, out my d+mn mind
to this day, i regret it
all these memories i’ll treasure
i dedicate this to you
dedicated to netta
[outro]
i think you’re very strong
and i know you’re strong
because most people would’ve folded
you know, they probably would’ve given up
or got a lot of hate coming out of their mouth
i don’t hear that when you talk
you’re+ that’s why there’s a lot more to you
i have not heard that
so therefore, i have confidence
that’s why i said i know god loves you
and he has his hands on you
so i+ you encourage me
you have to continue
that’s what i tell god
and that i want to be here
and i hope i see you one day
with a cd or dvd or on tv
that’s what i think
and i want you to know that i love you
i’ve always loved you, eli

- elijvh lyrics

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