elizabeth whitington - spirits, feared i know lyrics
you don’t have to worry about me
i’ve been seeing clear all week
my bed became my rotting spot, seven movies a week
and i’ve been ghosting my therapist
because what are my “problems”, but just self+admitted torture?
constantly surrounded by spirits i know the names of
what did you want me to say?
i cried while i was walking home from yr friend’s senior graduation
wearing a cat ear headband made of beads
i wasted so much time maintaining these useless fragile friendships
i could’ve learned how to twinkle by now
i wanna be the couple in the front of the crowd
getting overly touchy and freaking everyone out
feeling myself deflate under the pressure of their eyes
i put a cigarette between my lips
the blood and spit surround the filter like it’s a home that they miss
the second act was a complete disaster
and life has no real place for cowards
so where would that leave me?
i’d say i’m sorry for everything
but i know that means nothing to you now
the sp+ce between all of us is a place
filled with ribbon worms
it’s as deadly as the marina trench
it’s not that serious
just like hitting eject on a vcr
i can try to record over this sh+t
but i’ll still remember all the bad parts
never looking forward
always looking back
yet forced to walk
can do nothing but walk
in some malformed way, i guess i tried
but not enough for it to matter
do i spy with my own eyes some b+tch who’s rotting away?
soon, you won’t be tied down by emotions, but it’s not that day
you’re alone, we’re all alone
but you’re the only motherf+cker that’s still b+tching about it though
part of the fun is everybody will let you in out of pity
but not enough to let you into their hearts
do you realize we have nothing to do but rot away
in a wave of self+mutilation, nothing can remain that would change your mind
(just like that girl joanna lopez, i want to disappear completely. or to have not existed at all, just a fading “memory” kept alive during sleepless nights and the nightmares of your dreams.)
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