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ellie nelson - f50.9 lyrics

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did you ever see
the war that was inside of me
i was begging through signs unseen
the weight i lost was your prize you see
did you just up and forget
all those nights i cried next to your bed
you said, “just do it better this time”
like having a mental illness was a crime

i don’t know if i’m mad anymore
or if i’m just kidding myself
i always wanted an “i’m sorry”
but i think i need something else

can you see my pain now after all i’ve been through
or are you still blind to keep your secrets so close to you
your closet it just remains unexposed
will i ever find relief
to your heart that’s been closed
to your heart that’s been closed

now that my past has fell
it sounds different than the story you tell
you always said i was a bad little kid
when i was just trying to find love in everything forbidden
ay aay

i don’t know if i’m mad anymore
or if i’m just kidding myself
i always wanted an “i’m sorry”
but i think i need something else

can you see my pain now after all i’ve been through
or are you still blind to keep your secrets so close to you
your closet it just remains unexposed
will i ever find relief
to your heart that’s been closed
to your heart that’s been closed

did you ever see
the war that was inside of me



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