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elysiansoul - on my mind lyrics

intro (spoken):
“and i was like so proud of myself ’cause like, this is working, everything i’m doing is working, and i’m making the right progress… and i was like, so proud of myself, and now i feel like a big failure. i sometimes wonder what it would be like to wake up and not ever have to think about food, it’s just constantly.. it’s always on my mind”

verse 1:
take me in, give me one last time to indulge and sin
take me in, and in the morning i will start all over again
take me in, give me one last high before restriction begins
take me in, and then i promise to be good from now on, and then i’ll be thin
but for tonight, you and me, we’ll take everything
so take me in
for some twisted demon, living under my skin

break (spoken):
“i really feel like i should punish myself tomorrow for doing this tonight. i shouldn’t eat anything and i should just drink water and exercise for hours. you do so good and then like you stumble, and then you just feel like a giant failure. i’ll be better tomorrow. it’s always on my mind

verse 2:
take me in, give me one last night to ease my suffering
take me in, and then i promise to be good from now on, and then i’ll be thin
but for tonight you and me we’ll take everything
so take me in for some twisted demon living under my skin

chorus:
’cause it’s always on my mind and it’s always in my head
can’t stop thinking about food thinking what i’m gonna get
thinking when i’m gonna eat it, and make sure that i’m alone
gotta swallow all these feelings, and tomorrow i’ll atone
i don’t know what i’m doing, i’m so out of control
cover up the evidence, they’ll never know
punish me tomorrow for what happens tonight, give me one last meal and i’ll be alright

break (spoken):
“i have to accept the times that i.. stumble.. and it’s only a failure if i give up”

chorus 2:
’cause it’s always on my mind, and it’s always in my head
can’t stop thinking about food, thinking what i’m gonna get
thinking when i’m gonna eat it, and make sure that i’m alone
gotta swallow all these feelings, and tomorrow i’ll atone
i don’t know what i’m doing, i’m so out of control
cover up the evidence, they’ll never know
so punish me tomorrow for what happens tonight, give me one last meal and i’ll be alright

- elysiansoul lyrics

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