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eminem, chaos kid - as the doom surrounds with gloom lyrics

[verse 1: chaos kid]
it’s been so long, since you heard a song
from the b-ssmint productions but you can’t go on
a sucker in tune, to make you go buy a balloon
up in the sky like a kite, and end soon
and see, that i’m a good sucka mc
no one’s better than me at foolin’
the crowd that i’m ruling
‘cuz you know that i’m co-schooling

[bridge: chaos kid]
yo mike man, check this out dawg, i got m’n’m over here destined to ascend some dumb f-ckin’ stupid backstabbing two-timing…
syke, they know that but you know they- they ain’t here yet so why don’t we f-ck around and give something to laugh at when they get here, if they get here if they don’t, f-ck it i’ll take the tape myself
gimme a beat that goes… (humming) you know, something like that?
(beat starts) aw, sh-t! that’s almost exactly what i was talking about man! d-mn!
mike, the super (gibberish) beat finder

[verse 2: chaos kid]
as i look in my room
the doom surrounds me in gloom
and i’m soon to see a big balloon
flying over, like the movie it
i’m wondering “what the f-ck is this sh-t?”
i don’t know, but this sh-t looks scary
it ain’t the f-ckin’ godd-mn tooth fairy
it’s something f-cking ugly, yo
this sh-t is nasty g
so what i did is go up in my room and sit down
and i wrote down a line
with a sound that sounded sorta like this
then the tooth fairy b-tch came again
riding on a broom
i said “d-mn, you got a big warty nose, you f-cking baboon
what the f-ck are you doing here?”
she said “i’m close spreading that fear
‘cuz you know i can
i’m on a broom and i ain’t a man
but i rock the plan
the plan to take over the whole f-ckin’ world
and burn all the little boys and girls and children
yo, i’m fulfillin’ your deepest nightmare
‘cuz i’m willin’, to grab the mic and rock like a f-ckin’ witch b-tch
so here i go (gibberish)
yo, this is the witch and your doom is soon to find
yourself lying in your f-ckin’ room
with a big knife between your two f-ckin’ eyes
because you know that it’s time for you to eat french fries
unless you’re gonna die
with the bat wings attached to your fat things
that you have between your nuts
so l!ck it up honey, ‘cuz you know that’s my b-tt”

[verse 3: eminem]
i was sittin’ in my house, calm, writin’ some beats
when i got hit in the head with a big pair of cleats
i turned around and said “what the f-ck is going on?”
next thing i knew the sh-t through me on my front lawn
i jumped up and i was laying in the snow
then i looked up, and it came crashing out my window
i couldn’t figure out what the h-ll it was
but it was flying so high it gave me a buzz
i said “d-mn” and then they came swinging down
from a big tree and it had a mean frown
it had a mean grin on it’s chin and i began
to ran down the street because i was in fear
of this thing that was coming after me
and all i could hear was a godd-mn catastrophe
the sound of it, this made me cry
i said “oh my god, where’s my mom, i think i’m gonna die”
said “sh-t” then i continued running
down the block, i turned around and the sh-t was still coming
then i tripped and fell in a pile of dog sh-t
i say “god d-mn, i think i’ve just been hit by something”
but i still couldn’t figure out what the h-ll it was
then it turned around and grabbed my nuts
i said “what the f-ck is going on”
then it threw me out again and i ended up on my front lawn
i turned around and heard the sound of nothing
because nothing was there, i said “sh-t, it must be bluffing”
i didn’t see anything but i felt a smack
it hit me in my head and i landed on my back
but i still didn’t see anything
i was looking around and there still was nothing
i said “d-mn, i gotta get in my house”
then i asked charlie, charlie’s my mouse
i said “charlie, what the h-ll should i do?”
he said “grab a wig, and put it on and then take a poo
in your house, go take a sh-t in your toilet
that’s the only thing that will foil it
its plan, to overrule the kingdom”
i said “i gotta bring some
big t-rds, you and i land them in the toilet
so james take the mic
and talk about what happened that mysterious night”

[verse 4: chaos kid]
a mysterious this night, i was walking down the street
with a broom in my hand, ready to beat
a sucka mc, who gon’ step up to me?
lookin’ real funny, thinkin’ that he’s ugly
you’re godd-mn f-ckin’ right
you f-ckin’ ugly -ss b-st-rd, tryna’ rock all night
with those rhymes, that sound old as sh-t particles
you know that was the old article
from an old newspaper
an old sucker in (?)
but this is the new one and i’m gonna have some fun
but wait, here comes a b-tch yellin’ rape
she’s staring at me
oh f-ck, sh-t, i’m outta luck
i got hit by a brick from a man who’s running down the street
i said “f-ck this sh-t, i’m getting outta here
before i lose my f-cking brick
that i just got stuck in my head
it’s hanging out and i’m almost dead
but i got a piece of skull laying on the ground
so i pick up the sh-t and looked at my bones and frowned
i said “d-mn
who the f-ck would do this to another human being?”
must not be a man but a machine
and i turned around, it was a f-cking computer
staring me in the head and i had to take a (gibberish)
(more gibberish) what the f-ck am i saying?
i didn’t know ‘cuz half my brain was laying
on the sidewalk, i looked and sighed sharp
i picked up a big piece of chalk and f-cked it
because i don’t have no more brain left
the sh-t i’m saying is brain dead
‘cuz you know that i have half a brain, and i just might cry
but i ain’t got no more tears for this sh-t
i pulled the brick out my head and then i fl!cked it at the b-tch
and i said “die, computer, die!”
(screaming) (chuckling)
and he screamed with a sigh
then i said “yo, you f-ckin’ computer
you’re giving me an electrical shock
i only got half a brain left, so what the f-ck do you want me to do with it?
go get a sock?
so i put it over my d-ck?”
he said “what the f-ck are you talking about?
put in a number, sh-t”
so i taked it out on his computer screen
and he f-cked me up with a godd-mn big step and gangsta lean
i said “yo, this sh-t ain’t funny no more
the beat’s going off the (gibberish)
the beat’s skipping, and the only thing left to say… is…

[outro: eminem]
put the beat back on the track so i can
bust a funky rhyme again
well the next thing i…
no… no… no… no

- eminem chaos kid lyrics

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