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eminem - my dad's gone crazy lyrics

-television static-
-eminem begins to snort cocaine-

[speech: steve king & hailie jade]
h-llo, boys and girls! today we’re gonna talk about father and daughter relationships. do you have a daddy? i’ll bet you do!
-hailie opens the door-
-eminem snorts cocaine-
who’s your daddy?
daddy, what are you doing?

[intro: eminem & hailie jade]
ha-ha!
okay then! everybody, listen up!
i’m goin’ to h-ll! who’s comin’ with me?
somebody, please help him!
i think my dad’s gone crazy!

[verse 1: eminem, hailie jade & dr. dre]
there’s no mountain i can’t climb
there’s no tower too high, no plane that i can’t learn how to fly
what do i gotta do to get through to you
to show you there ain’t nothin’ i can’t take this chainsaw to?
(rahhnnn!) f-ckin’ brains, brawn and br-ss b-lls
i cut ’em off and got ’em pickled and bronzed in a gl-ss jar
inside of a hall, with my framed autographed sungl-sses
with elton john’s name on my drag wall
i’m out the closet, i’ve been lyin’ my -ss off
all this time, me and dre been f-ckin’ with hats off
(suck it, marshall!) so tell laura and her husband to back off
‘fore i push this motherf-ckin’ b-tton and blast off
and launch one of these russians, and that’s all
blow every f-ckin’ thing except afghanistan on the map off
when will it stop? when will i knock the cr-p off?
(-knocking-) hailie, tell ’em, baby! (my dad’s lost it!)

[hook: eminem & hailie jade]
there’s really nothin’ else to say, i, i can’t explain it
i think my dad’s gone crazy!
a little help from hailie jade, won’t you tell ’em, maybe?
i think my dad’s gone crazy!
there’s nothin’ you could do or say that could ever change me
i think my dad’s gone crazy!
there’s no one on earth that can save me, not even hailie
i think my dad’s gone crazy! (crazy)

[verse 2: eminem & hailie jade]
it’s like my mother always told me:
“rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana and codeine and
godd-mn it, you little motherf-cker
if you ain’t got nothin’ nice to say, then don’t say nothin’!”
uh… f-ck that sh-t, b-tch!
eat a motherf-ckin’ d-ck, chew on a pr-ck
and l!ck a million motherf-ckin’ c-cks per second
i’d rather put out a motherf-ckin’ gospel record
i’d rather be a p-ssy-whipped b-tch
eat p-ssy and have p-ssy lips glued to my face
with a cl-t ring in my nose, than quit bringin’ my flows
quit givin’ me my ammo; can’t you see why i’m so mean?
if y’all leave me alone this wouldn’t be my m.o.
i wouldn’t have to go eenee-meenee-meini-mo
catch a h0m- by his toe, man, i don’t know no more
am i the only f-ckin’ one who’s normal anymore? (dad!)

[verse 3: eminem]
my songs can make you cry, take you by surprise
at the same time, can make you dry your eyes
with the same rhyme, see, what you’re seein’
is a g*nius at work, which to me isn’t work
so it’s easy to misinterpret it at first, ‘cause when i speak
it’s tongue-in-cheek, i’d yank my f-ckin’ t–th
before i’d ever bite my tongue, i’d slice my gums
get struck by f-ckin’ lightning twice at once
and die and come back as vanilla ice’s son
and walk around the rest of my life spit on
and kicked and hit with sh-t every time i sung
like r. kelly as soon as “bump and grind” comes on
more pain inside of my brain, than the eyes of a little girl
inside of a plane aimed at the world trade
standin’ on ronnie’s grave, screamin’ at the sky
’til clouds gather; it’s clyde mathers and bonnie jade
and that’s pretty much the gist of it
parents are p-ssed, but the kids love it
9 millimeter heaters stashed in two-seaters with meat cleavers
i don’t blame you, i wouldn’t let hailie listen to me neither

[outro: eminem & hailie jade]
crazy
ha-ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha-ha
you’re funny, daddy!

- eminem lyrics

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