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eminem - stuff to never rhyme (the don'ts) lyrics

(these are the rules)
this is brought to you by alchemist
(that’s right)
mr. porter
umm…
these are the hip-hop don’ts
(royce is here. royce is absolutely here)
starting now, yes
royce da 5’9″ is here

if you have an emergency it cannot be with an urgency
and if it is with an urgency in your rush to emergency surgery
you cannot be burned in third-degree
(at all) at all
and if you’re gonna murder me
it cannot be like you never heard of me
you gotta know it’s you have to know me
(you can go to surgery for a burn but it just can’t be third degree)
yeah yeah you could go if it’s
if it’s a second-degree burn okay
you can be rushed to emergency surgery
but there can be no urgency
absolutely not
no urgency

(if you want to be a pimp) you cannot have a limp
(no, straight walk he must walk straight line, straight line if you want to be a pimp, in your rhymes. this is a fact)
yes you you know
(no wounded pimps!)
you can be either or
you can be a pimp, and if you are a pimp and that’s what you choose to do that’s fine
it’s all good, just do not have a limp
(absolutely not)

you cannot be a mobster and eat lobster
(at all. you better be allergic to sh-llfish)
(eat something else, goddamit)
if you are a mobster
stay the f-ck away from lobster

(and, and for anybody that want to start a war
and you want to drop a bomb
it cannot be on vietnam
vietnam’s already over you can’t drop bombs)
you cannot drop a bomb like vietnam
(you cannot drop a bomb like anything. f-ck that. no more bomb dropping)
if it’s gonna be a missile it cannot be a scud missile
it cannot be a scud missile
if you’re gonna freestyle it cannot be ’til you’re senile
so, you can freestyle that’s fine, but do not do it until you’re senile
just before you’re about to push to the point of senility
you cannot die hard
you cannot die hard like bruce willis
(yes, yes)
no more no more
(your poems can’t be popular
they can’t be popular
can’t be off of the dome)
if it’s off of the dome it cannot be a popular poem
(n0body can know it okay)
no more off the top of the head
off the top of the dome
off the cerebellum
none of that sh-t
no more, no more

(now if you’re getting brains from a girl
there’s no way you can become smarter from that
you cannot become smarter from brains
you can, like she gave me brains and i’m f-cking g*nius? no. no)
if a girl gives you brain it cannot make you smarter
(you gotta be dumb as f-ck)
you can get brain that’s fine
just do not come out of it a smarter person
(no, no)
speaking of smarter person: knowledge and college
you are not allowed to, you can have knowledge
but it better not be from college
(you better be in high school)
(no, no)
you cannot manage to do damage
no more
no more manage to do damage
if you’re gonna manage something it cannot be damage
stay away from damage
(if you have, if you have
for anybody that’s got one sk!ll
do not use it for any means, by any means to pay bills
your sk!lls cannot pay the bills)
if you have sk!lls you cannot use them to pay the bills

(you think just because you’re in the booth it’s the f-cking truth?
no! you can lie in the booth too)
from now on, lie in the booth
because you cannot be in the booth to spit the truth to the young youth
no more
if you’re in the booth you have to stay away from truth
(you can lie in the booth)

yes you can have have a backpack
this is serious, this is serious
(listen to this)
i don’t care if you have a backpack in your first verse
you got three verses and you try to have a knapsack in the third verse?
(uh uh. absolutely not!)
no! you cannot have a backpack and a knapsack!
(get the f-ck outta here. pick another song)
you pick one or the other
(pick another song. go to h-ll)
pick a f-cking f-nny pack, i don’t care
but you cannot have a backpack and knapsack
(what is wrong with you)

and if there’s gonna be violence it cannot rhyme with silence
(no, no no)
in advance we’re telling you that
(it’s gotta be loud. it’s gotta be loud, screaming, horrible violence)
you cannot have a riot and be quiet
(no)
(royce: i hate to break it to you bro, but that sh-t gotta be 1 minute long…)
(we gonna break it up!)

(you cannot hit the block at all by any means with a glock, you cannot…)
you can’t wait, be on the block with the glock
and make it c-ck
(no no no. it’s too much, it’s too much)
no block glock c-ck
no more of that

(you know what ? i’m gonna just go out there and say this
no more jewelry temperature
i don’t care how cold, what temperature degree your f-cking jewelry
jewelry doesn’t have a temperature)
yes no, it cannot be frozen below 400 million degrees
like it just has to, if you’re gonna-
it cannot be a temperature
(it’s true. what if it’s 90° outside and you got jewelry on? you f-cking hot. stop lying. you ain’t cold ‘cos you got jewelry. that’s a lie. stop lying to the people)

you cannot be on the level with the devil
you cannot –
(party. you can’t party, don’t party with a lil bacardi)

you’re gonna be, if you’re gonna be lyrical
you better not –
you better stay the f-ck away from miracles
(that’s it. no miracles)
(you just a regular mortal human you don’t perform miracles if you lyrical)
no no no
no more love in the club
no more
if i go in vip they don’t need to see id, right
(no more come on )
(they know who you are if you’re going to vip they know your face, you paid for it)
if you’re gonna get buried it cannot be in the cemetery
if you are in the cemetery you cannot be buried
no more
(leave it alone)

and you can’t, you cannot
if you go to jail you cannot make bail
if you’re gonna have swagger
you cannot be like mick jagger
(you gotta be like lou ferigno or someone like that)
you can be like mick jagger but you… it’s one or the other
you have to have one or the other
no more rhyming mick jagger with swagger, no
no more spectacular with vernacular
(you got to stay away from that one)

why do you feel that you have to say that a pencil is a utensil
a pencil is a f-cking utensil! right or wrong?
it’s already a utensil you don’t have to make
(it’s a double negative!)
once you got the pencil you already have the utensil
the utensil is the pencil so you don’t need to

you cannot use a vest to protect your chest
(come up with some other sh-t
come up with something else for it to protect. get creative)
maybe the vest protects your abdominals

(if someone’s gonna murder you they obviously heard of you right? how do you…?)
i think we went we went over that but i do think that is important to stress
because if i murder you like i never heard of you
what is the difference?
do i not feel as bad because i murdered you because i never heard of you?
(it’s f-cking stupid)
and if i did hear of you i might actually feel bad, it my weigh on my conscious or something?
(royce: …what kind of grat-tude do you get from murdering a person you don’t know anyway?…yeah you wanna know…)
(you get no points. it makes no sense)

if you’re gonna be near death it cannot be on your last breath
you cannot
you can’t be on your last breath near death
but if you’ve got bodies it’s not like john gotti
you cannot have bodies like john gotti
you cannot rhyme casket with basket, no more
money, funny, honey, bunny, no more
(static, attic, no, it’s over)
if you like static, you cannot be an addict for it
(moderation. static in moderation. no addictions)
moderation, static in moderation, static in moderation
(you cannot be addicted to static. forget it. those days are over)
you can’t you can’t
you can start static, if you start static just you cannot get addicted to it
if you become an addict for static, it’s automatic
(ooh you can’t be automatic either. it has to be manual)
it cannot, yeah, yo
manual and it cannot be –
the static has to be…
the static cannot be automatic

i think this is- i think this is good
(it’s a good start)
yeah
(i think they’ll be a better mc if they follow these rules)
yes, this will make you
if you really want to be if you really want to be considered one of the greats
(mmm-hmm)
you can’t do any of this sh-t
and if you’re gonna keep it real, you cannot pack the steel
you can pack the steel but you probably shouldn’t keep it real
keep it fake
(royce: be a fake -ss motherf-cker)
yep be fake with the steel or be real without the steel
you cannot keep it real and pack the steel
you cannot rip shop in hip hop to the tip-top, you just can’t
you can’t
(stay ground level stay ground level)
ground level
if you’re gonna make me drip drop cuz i flip flop
i cannot be in flip flops

if you’re a new up-and-comer right in hip-hop and you don’t understand the history of hip-hop, that these things have been rhymes way too many times by now, we’re just giving you, you know what i’m saying, “the don’ts”

listen i’m telling you something, i’m trying to talk to you, i’m telling you something i’m telling you something young ‘un. you’re coming up in this game? these are the f-cking rules, like it or not. you cannot say this sh-t, and if, (facts! big facts!) and if you come up missing it cannot be like hoffa. no. no more missing like hoffa. i think they found hoffa anyways, didn’t they? yeah they found hoffa. so you can’t. no more missing like hoffa

- eminem lyrics

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