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emjaay - wondering what it could've been lyrics

[emjaay]
you suddenly
wanna fall away
spite the love you gave
suffering
all these years i’ve been
wanting what you never gave
wondering, what it could’ve been
all these years without you
cause it seems
like you’ll never be
whats in my memories

you wouldn’t see
the blinding light
that’s calling me
like movie scenes
they’re on repeat
i can’t break free
they’re haunting me
they’re haunting me

[rivilin]
yеah i’m the absent background kid in school
thinking bout how i’m gonna tell you how i’m gonna brеak through
get used, pushed around easily
you grabbed me by the collar and drag me out
to where the valleys and the oceans meet
a place beyond the pines where you love to look at me
paint me perfect, a portrait and cut out my flaws
i can feel the sweat crawling down my pores

yeah i’m always having conversations with myself
its the stress, anxiety, depression it’s never mentioned
of what it feels like to go through this unless you have it
i don’t wanna understand it, i wanna be normal

so don’t call me i won’t answer
left the dial tones, and repeat you’re a cancer
that lights me up like it’s 4th of july
i guess i always knew that my life was a lie

[emjaay]
you suddenly, you suddenly, you suddenly
you suddenly
wanna fall away
spite the love you gave
suffering
all these years i’ve been
wanting what you never gave
wondering, what it could’ve been
all these years without you
cause it seems
like you’ll never be
whats in my memories
you wouldn’t see
the blinding light
that’s calling me
like movie scenes
they’re on repeat
i can’t break free
they’re haunting me
they’re haunting me

- emjaay lyrics

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