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endeshaw - 2 effected lyrics

(one more shot, ’cause)
(i feel like you’re up to something)
(i bet you’re up to something)
(scandalous) ay
(taste my bitter heart)
(i know it makes you blush) yeah, ay

[endeshaw]
emotions cuffed to the table, yes he’s interrogating
his self+projection and prejudice, pride and payments for privilege
want support but no pity cause i just dug a grave
and i don’t wanna sleep in it like it’s 17
when i slept in my grandma’s whip cause ignorance is bliss and i was kissing it
felt like novocaine, numbing my senses like a few tokes and a few strokes and
another distraction, i’m passing a pack of cigarettes and s+x
karma tweaking hasn’t caught up to me yet

yeah, ay
i be distressed while she dis+dressed
can’t give her what she needs, knowing d+mn well i’m only helping
pass the time a little quicker
holding hands, fingers locked, now they slipping
i’m sweaty, palmed and doubting intentions
double checking my intuition
don’t see a way forward
sorry to the women i slept with
energy was imbalanced
and there was no aftercare
i really did care
that you believe it now
ay, yeah
reap what you sow and i sow the seed of uncertainty
filled with an empty feeling of pain, regret and humility
hope you’re sleeping better with me out the picture
know i’m breathing better, i don’t feel the pressure
and if i see you on the street, i ask for god to give you peace
cause pain was never the intention
i was looking for a part of me in your reflection
you were looking for a part of me you never mentioned
lessons, learn too late to test them

yeah
hope you get this message
yeah

i look to the moon to illuminate at my darkest hours
i’m the son of a farmer, father in high power
i reap the benefits of seeds sown by social misfits
i am a dog, destiny, only greatness

yeah, i’m too affected to fake this

[young crow]
yeah, okay
yeah, call me naive, cause i dared to believe
that a white kid from the right side of the tracks could be a g
it couldn’t be farther from the truth
and though i lacked the knowledge and sk!lls
and though those were something i could build
nothing could beat the authentic mind of someone who k!lled
these were the people i was exposed to
and who knew that my parents had raised someone who dreamed of taking lives
and lay awake hearing voices in the night
i shunned the outside world for not giving me the respect i thought i deserved
lashing out because i wanted to be heard
clearly i need some therapy or someone to take care of me
and see to it that in my pursuit of money and power
i don’t fall victim to the death of a coward
couldn’t relate to his parents, saw his family as a hindrance
his confidence came from the violence he could inflict on others
from the drugs he sold to his brothers
and the slow infection of his mind that would be his undoing
polluting the very air that he breathed
till it was thick and impossible to see the truth for what it was, this happened to me
constant chatter in my mind, the overbearing voices telling me lies
at this time you could look into my eyes and see my mind was gone
my head was full of songs that i thought shaped reality, until finally i reached out and attempted to leave the city
i ended up in a psych ward, where the people inside heard me speak the words of a broken mind
rocking back and forth, talking to myself at times so loud i was told to be quiet, i was a shy kid
it was as if my mind was another person’s, with music i tried to drown it out
but i ended up drowning when they held me down
and injected me with the medications i refused to take
because my delusions wouldn’t take a break
they were afraid of me and finally i felt the power to desire the hold
but at what cost, i was lost
[endeshaw]
yeah, check 1+2 on my birthday
woke up, n0body’s home
but there’s a knock on the door, it was my sister
could see distress on her face
calculating, my mind is racing i think i’m fine, but that’s far from the truth
i’m imitating and masking, fever dream must be having, i’ve been looking for
help

(scandalous)
(taste my bitter heart, i know it makes you blush, but)
(one more shot, ’cause)
(i feel like you’re up to something)
(i bet you’re up to something)

- endeshaw lyrics

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