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endless jess - butt chugger lyrics

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well let me tell you a tale
from when i was young
when my b-tt was smooth
but my mood was glum

i didn’t fit in with the other children
i was weird, had a beard and down syndrome
i was tall for my age, 6 foot 10
gettin’ picked on, never had a single friend

on the short bus home, sittin’ in the back
every day alone with my donkey dong wrapped
around my waist, tugged in my b-tt
where it was safe from the bugs on my nuts

dirty old clothes and i smelled like farts
b-tt ripped apart leaking so i had to plug it shut
got home rubbed my b-tt on the rug
watching cartoons scratching my caboose like a pug

it burnt my skin ’till a man walked in
with a skim milk jug and he taught me how to chug

now, i had never met this man before
but he looked like a god from down on the floor
he had a windbreaker on with the rip away pants
and he broke that wind with the hip break dance

he was spinning on his head like a top
legs spread like a chopper as he slowed down to stop
he filled his b-tt to capacity
then he farted and it rained down back at me

like a crazy daisy spurting milk out
everywhere while his hairy legs flapped about
showering me with the creamy white potion
then he rubbed my b-tt with lotion

taught me how to be cool like him
and promised me no matter what, we’d always be friends

thanks b-tt chugger
i love you

well he’s one-up for the b-tt chug man
hear the jingle coming from the b-tt chug van
here comes the b-tt chug man
with a bottle of rum and a funnel in his hand

so i went back to school, i felt a lot better
b-tt chugger came along in a thong and a sweater
he parked his van on the recess playground
played his little jingle and the kids gather all around

then, just as i had antic-p-ted
they were all blown away as the chugger demonstrated

soon all the kids started dropping their pants
slappin’ their b-tts together in a trance
chuggin’ their milk, chug one chug all!
i even saw one kid using a straw

they raised me up hip-hip hooray!
i was popular at last what a wonderful day
the children got down from the slides and swings
and bowed on the ground to the b-tt chug king

and then
the b-tt chugger marched

and as he stomped his feet we marched behind
to the b-tt chug beat in an orderly line
all through the town, with our pants down
milk running down our thighs dripping to the ground

he was using his funnel as a megaphone
saying: chug with your b-tt and you’ll never chug alone!
we were saving the world goo steppin’ through the streets
we didn’t even hear the sirens of the police

well he’s one-up for the b-tt chug man
hear the jingle coming from the b-tt chug van
here comes the b-tt chug man
with a bottle of rum and a funnel in his hand

well many years p-ssed since that sad day
when they took my friend b-tt chugger away
he was left to rot in a tiny cell
my mom and pop said he’d burn in h-ll

they didn’t understand, parents never do
i stopped b-tt chugging ’cause they told me to
for most kids i guess it had seemed like a dream
i was the last one who still believed

through high-school all the way through college
they took me to a therapist who said: “we can’t allow this”
suppressed my delusions and silenced my stories
with antidepressants and mood suppositories

i was finally functioning normally
but on the inside i was just back to being lonely

i went to parties and i stood in the corner
feeling like an outcast, and a loner
all of the sudden, out of the corner of my eye
a man waved high, a familiar guy

could it be? no way, it couldn’t be
the doctor warned me about things i shouldn’t see
i looked around, nowhere to be found, i was sweating’
feeling like there’s something in my past i’m forgettin’

“i need a change of setting” so i docked into the bathroom
and there he was in the same blue track suit
with the snaggletooth, mustache and hat tube
bulgin’ his rip aways pointed right at you

i could’ve cried, i recognized my friend
he was back, “we can chug once again”
suddenly everything became clear
i realized i was looking in the mirror

d-mn, now i understand
it’s time to get this party chuggin’

i came out and hit the lights, with some listerine
stood on my head and said: it’s time to get the pipes clean!
it’s time to party, bottoms up let’s chug!
everybody rub your b-tts on the rug!

get’em ripped run loose then sploosh some lotion
on each other’s caboose form a party locomotion
then flip around and get clean with the listerine
rinse, repeat, get stair locked feet

like monkey’s in a barrel we’re a team, victory is sweet
it’s a miracle on b-tt chug street

now we’re all together, now we’re all a family
time to take the party to another galaxy
the movie shown john’s come on a snuck queer
put the beer pong and your beer’s not wrong here

i’ll be cheering you on, don’t get annoyed
pay respect to your rectal cavity

chug! chug! chug! chug!
chug it up your b-tt, yeah that’s good
chug! chug! chug! chug!
you did it! we all knew you could!

and now i go
to wherever i’m needed
to spread the word
b-tt chuggin’ is in season

if you need me
i’ll be there for you
cuz i’m the b-tt chugger
cody larue

cody larue is the b-tt chugger
he’s gonna make you his b-tt chug brother

cody larue is the b-tt chugger
he’s gonna make you his b-tt chug brother

cody larue is the b-tt chugger
he’s gonna make you his b-tt chug brother

cody larue is the b-tt chugger
he’s gonna make you his b-tt chug brother

cody larue is the b-tt chugger
he’s gonna make you his b-tt chug brother

cody larue is the b-tt chugger
he’s gonna make you his b-tt chug brother

cody larue is the b-tt chugger
he’s gonna make you his b-tt chug brother

cody larue is the b-tt chugger
he’s gonna make you his b-tt chug brother

cody larue is the b-tt chugger
he’s gonna make you his b-tt chug brother

cody larue is the b-tt chugger
he’s gonna make you his b-tt chug brother

cody larue is the b-tt chugger
he’s gonna make you his b-tt chug brother

cody larue is the b-tt chugger
he’s gonna make you his b-tt chug brother

cody larue is the b-tt chugger
he’s gonna make you his b-tt chug brother

- endless jess lyrics

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