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epic rap batles of history - little caesar vs julius caesar lyrics

[intro: the announcer]
epic rap batles of history
julius caesar
versus
little caesar… eh?
begin

[verse 1: little caesar]
raps hotter than my oven, baked straight from lil’ caesey
always topping with bars but you’re extra f+cking cheesy
believe me i’ve never seen a leader so sleazy
stick a fork in it and eat me since you stab so easily
you think your empire’s big? well let me throw in some spice
just with the us alone mine’s double the size
and internationally? well then it’s official
when it comes to caesars i think you’re the one that’s little
you kept slaves? whoa, that’s low class bro
so full of yourself, you’re like a calzone calzone
i put the cool in cholesterol so come at me
f+ck papa john, i’m the pizza pie daddy
you can call me brutus ’cause i’m cooking up a trap
that’ll wipe the entire roman empire off the map
now check my app, it’s intuitive, convenient and quick
and lets you customize a hot and ready pizza this d+ck!

[verse 2: julius caesar]
you talk a lot of sh+t for a fast food mascot
i heard you had crazy sauce, i guess the mask’s off
’cause that battlecry was one of the weakest i’ve ever heard
i’d toss your buffalo wings for you just to flip you the bird
you’re looking scared, and i’m just getting cranked up, beef boy
you started your empire in a bankrupt detroit
i’ll sink you like atlantis, deep dish, aquatica
bad taste from spice blend to pepperoni swastika
i laid the basis for the calendars that you still keep
but you beating me? now that’s a f+cking leap
i’ll chew your food and send it right back at ya, i spit that
by the way, cleopatra? i hit that
yeah i’m a slaver, but what about you?
your whole company’s practically a minimum wage zoo
i’ll leave you like your pies, sliced up in 8 pieces
when it comes to business having, i’d rather call up chucky cheese’s
[verse 3: little caesar]
…and doink! nice punchline, j!
your jokes haven’t grown since you told them at the theater of pompey
and we both know how those jokes went down with the senators
begging for another slice of holey roman emperor
talk about swastikas all you like
but yikes, your eagle never flew as high as it did in the third reich!
and here’s a deal you can’t miss as i send my final diss off
for $6.79, how bout you pizza pizza p+ss off!

[verse 4: julius caesar]
$6.79, huh? that’s not very baller
i thought your whole schtick was “only five dullas”
go join the line of all the other pirates and robbers
there’s an empty cross for you, i insist you do the honors
you make a mockery of italian cuisine
you’re not a caesar, you’re not even qualified to work the f+cking canteen
hand me your spear, i’ll put an end to your misery
you’re sh+t as a chef, maybe you’re better as rotisserie

[outro: the announcer, pizza guy]:
who won?
who’s next?
you decide
will that be all, sir?
ah yes, thank you.+ what? i’m just hungry
…say the thing? …no

- epic rap batles of history lyrics

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