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epic rap batles of history - simon cowell vs gordon ramsay lyrics

[intro]
epic rap batles of history!
gordon ramsay
vs
simon cowell
begin!

[verse 1: gordon ramsay]
j.p., open h+ll’s kitchen, it’s time to smash this assh0l+’s jaw
what the f+ck are you doing, syko? your show’s so f+cking raw
it’s just kids singing and r+t+rds doing foul stuff
i’d get more f+cking talent out of casting call club

[verse 2: simon cowell & gordon ramsay]
(x) shut up, i already want to leave
your food’s so bl++dy gross that i would rather drink bleach
making fun of our contestants, really? that’s quite cheap
maybe you’re mad that they’re more talented than you’ll ever be
we’re live on this fight, no scripts. your kitchen nightmare
like f+ckin’ h+ll man, your sh+t’s more poorly staged than dhar mann
even outside the stagе, i’m surprised you’re not banned
with thе racism, misogyny and visits from the taxman?
oh f+ckin’ h+ll! quit it you f+cking c+nt, you’ll hear this
i’m a fair critic, you’re just an assh0l+, get the difference?
your h+ll’s kitchen doesn’t scare me, you’re a terrible actor
and when it comes to business saving, i’d rather call up jon taffer
[verse 3: gordon ramsay]
wow, that’s disgusting, yucky
here, look, the verse isn’t even done yet, f+ck me
you’ve given up, see? you don’t even care
i hope britain’s got talent, ’cause it wasn’t f+cking there
had enough, have you? quit being a f+cking b+ll+nd, then
i’ll wrap you up in disses, call it beef cowell+ington
you’re f+cking lackl+ster, all critique and no force
i spent your whole f+cking verse thinking “where’s the d+mn sauce!?”
and f+cking calm it with the surgery antics
your face has got more plastic than the f+cking atlantic
you’re like casu martzu; all cheese and full of maggots
i’d serve you at my restaurant, but we don’t allow f+ggots

[verse 4: simon cowell]
you don’t serve f+ggots? mate, i don’t get you
’cause last i checked, that sh+t’s right on the menu
for an alleged top chef, i find it quite absurd
how you can’t cook sh+t, even if it’s literally a big steaming pile of t+rds

[verse 5: gordon ramsay and chefs]
my sk!lls bred 5 star chefs across the nation
no one’s ever heard an x+factor champion on their radio station
so do spare me of your petty yappin’
before i slam you through the wall like a raw piece of f+cking salmon
and that dumb smile makes me wanna scream
i’m so feared on tv, i even haunt marge’s dreams
so gather around, teams, yeah? this one’s your final test
go f+cking serve this pr+ck a knuckle sandwich (yes chef!)
[verse 6: simon cowell]
what in the bl++dy h+ll was that? that was dreadful, my god
you’ve got more anger issues than a discord mod
i gotta be honest with you, you are a right sod
with the charm and charisma of a raw piece of cod
you used to be something, yeah i know you’re quite bitter
you’re 50 and wasting days mocking vegans on twitter
and now, obviously, you’ve lost. but don’t let that detract ‘ya
’cause with that sarah on your corner, perhaps you’ll win the ex+factor (ha, ha, ha, ha!)

[outro: the announcer and gordon ramsay]
who won?
who’s next?
you decide!
epic rap+ oh for f+ck sakes, put in some f+cking energy!
uhh, yes chef! rap battles of history!

- epic rap batles of history lyrics

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