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epic rap battle parodies - hugh hefner vs. pee-wee herman lyrics

[intro]
epic rap battle parodies!
hugh hefner
versus
pee-wee herman
begin!

[hugh hefner]
the difference between playboy and playhouse is simple
you took my t-tle and stuck a “with” in the middle
i’ll have to riddle ‘gainst a little kid who didn’t take his ritalin
and giggles like his nipples got twisted but thinks it’s tickling
wishing miss yvonne would kiss you “right where it hurts, ma’am”
but with that pee-wee, you’ll never be her man
your rising action climaxed in the previews
when peewee was “c-mming in theaters near you”

[pee-wee herman]
haha, a bunny suits you well
the way you hop around town playing show and tell!
making beds rock out of wedlock of the law
i don’t know how you keep it up with that pin above your b-lls!
‘cause your pals are only palimonies, after you’re deceased
you’ll be a veteran remembered as an editor in chief!
you’re a crooked man who i’m gonna subscribe to the bible
and override your bi-cycle with my bicycle!

[hugh hefner]
you’re schizophrenic mess who’s poisoning a generation
try and gaze at my mansion while you’re enslaved in your bas-m-nt
‘cause you’re a nerd hippie, i’m a strapping geriatric gladiator
and i’ll have you running like a fidgety refrigerator
crank all the prank calls you think won’t tank
‘till you underpay the interest accrued in your spank bank
you think you’re forgotten from watching me lay it down?
no, i just had more “versatile” toys in my playhouse

[pee-wee herman]
not one good joke! guess you can’t stand up!
plus, you might “stop motion” if your heart rate goes nuts!
i know the mind of a child and i’ll use it to crack your code
and add some 49 more shades of red to your bathrobe!
with a tip of the hat i’ll be tipping your boat
if you’re joking, i’ll be literally coming at your throat
now we both play with plastic toys but why?
i know you are, b-tt! what am i?
it’s sad your form of literature is otherkins on calendars
you’re no entrepreneur, your category is amateur!
i’ll force you in your drawer in the morgue with those loose screws
‘cause we all scream when we see you as if the secret word was hugh!

[outro]
who won?
who’s next?
you decide!
epic rap battle parodies!

- epic rap battle parodies lyrics

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