epic rap battle parodies - mcdonald's vs burger king lyrics
mcdonald’s employee:
the original’s going first, show you why i’m called the mc
you’re just a happy meal and every person will agree
that my sk!ll is supersize, serving mcdouble demise
with this ass+whooping, would you also like some fries?
you ain’t having it your way, i’m the best all around
i have it as my mascot, yet you’re acting like a clown
i’ve won and it just begun, so now i conclude
this mac’s shooting raps at superspeed, like our fast food
burger king employee:
this royal will boil you up with a served up b+tch slap
with my raps i’ll trap and strap you up, like a mcwrap
you’re nothing but my jester! i win by default!
i’ll let my disses touch your fries with those high amounts of salt
so they’ll sting hard and then this magnificеnt king will win
i’m wrestling and putting you right out of the ring
remеmber, i can break you in half, weak as your french fries
just served you royally, because all of my rhymes are king sized
kfc employee:
you think you’re showing off? but instead, you’re just a nugget!
i got perfectness and deliciousness all served in a family bucket!
and you, don’t boast, you can stick that mc up your +rs+hole
you’re only known for being the number 1 cause of high cholesterol
when it comes to destroying low+lives, i’m like a commander
so much sk!ll and class, you could call me colonel sanders
the king is no royal, and i’ll say this to your face, mcdonalds
when people think of pedophiles, people think of ronald
taco bell employee:
keep your unprocessed garbage, it’s none other than taco bell
grind you weak fat b+st+rds and stuff ya in a taco sh+ll
spicy disses coming right up! not that sloppy cr+p you spittin’
an old fart, a rip off, a clown? you’ve got to be kidding!
hey, fry cook, i heard you like when billions serve your grease
my lyrical baja blast will make you all have a brain freeze
this drive+thru boss will make your life a living h+ll
and at the end of this battle, you’ll say “yo quiero taco bell”
subway employee:
freshly wrapped rhymes coming in, k!lling like a verbal grilling
gonna slice all you up, and use you as my next tasty filling
your meat is just fake, n0body wants your cantina
why’d this ding+dong have to go out and give everyone diarrhea
i’m serving bite+sized raps for you to eat, so take a seat
and get on your knees, and suck my footlong meat
mixing and matching this rap, you guys are in for a treat
get over here to stay fresh, just like i was on this beat!
pizza hut employee:
you want a pizza this? can you even handle my flavour?
your rhymes are as cheesy as a burger’s wrapping paper
when kids go to kfc they gain the lb’s
then they turn as black as a burnt mcblt
get your sub+a+way from me, your turkey isn’t even meat
i’m gonna pepperown you, so get off my street!
then add some extra cheese! not the kind you fools cut
here’s your receipt, don’t ever mess with pizza hut!
arby’s employee:
shut your mouth, pizza sl+t, arby’s coming in hard
i’ll cut you like a worker’s finger and i’ll leave you scarred
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wendy’s employee:
i’m gonna punch you +square in the face like my patties
i’m livin’ large and healthy, you feed greasy sh+t to fatties
yes, i’m a lady, but i got more b+lls than these guys
stop fingering burgewinging you little curly fry
pizza hut your employees are either hobos or loners
i provide quality burgers, you provide cheap sh+t to stoners
this malicious redhead’s bout to shred you like cheddar
and put you all out of business! “now that’s better!”
five guys employee:
i’m about to knock this chick out with a five+star slam
when you taste our burgers, you’ll be like d+mn d+mn d+mn!
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dunkin’ donuts employee:
i’m dunking in, serving fresh donuts & coffee
stop with your five guy orgy and taste my dunkin’ surpreme
when compared to me, you guys are as lame as chex mix
every human knows that i’m the best place to get breakfast
get ready to be creamed when i make you glazed
you all are just munchkins, my rhymes are hot like a latte
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my costumers will run on you cause america runs on dunkin!
starbuck’s employee:
you all aren’t comparable, i’m the true star
let me sprinkle this on you, you won’t getting much far
i make sure people don’t get fired, you make people obese
you look like you’re sleepy, here take a sip of these
shove those donut’s up your d+ck dunkin, my coffee’s the best
start making sh+tty fast food, burgers, just like the rest
your food isn’t healthy, it just makes me sick
i’ll give y’all a personal cup, 10 coffees for ‘d+cks’!
a&w employee:
you guys are f+cking scared, are you a chicken (tender)?
and a baby burger? i’ll turn you into a milkshake, get in the blender!
you’ll be toasted in texas + fried, roasted and murdered
i’ll crunch you up like white cheddar cheese curds
been growin strong since 1962! pure american cuisine!
your rhymes are corny like corn dogs! the worst i’ve ever seen!
subway’s sandwiches taste like transfat sh+t!
and i made better chilli dogs than sonic ever did!
applebee’s employee:
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long john silver’s employee:
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the rest of your chances of winning has just shrank
so get ready as you’re about walk the plank
sonic’s employee:
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denny’s employee:
welcome to my den, your bout to feel the wrath of denny’s
once i dominate in this battle you won’t be winning many
my verses are so fresh, you could say i’m going ham
you can call me babe ruth cause i’m king of grand slam
i got more flow then pancake batter
when kids go to kfc they just get fatter
everyone loves my big flap+jackers
the rest your cr+ppy businesses are disasters
popeye’s employee:
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t.g.i. friday’s employee:
thank god it’s friday, the day i’m dissing you sh+ts
my wings are spicy hot so you better learn to quit
shift on over to fridays employers so we serve you up some drinks that will implore ya
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jack+in+the+box employee:
jack+in+the+box here to shut you down like a laptop
all the fast food you serve causes nothing but blood clots
watch my workers flip the burgers as you flip your sh+t on over
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hardee’s employee:
it’s hardee’s joining in, the succulent saboteur
my rhymes are burning more than my jalapeño burger
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ihop employee:
welcome to ihop, you all are gonna be baked
into our “super” rooty tooty fresh n’ fruity pancakes!
compared to you, ihop is like a birthday party
the only reason you give food is because you can’t get a hardee
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ben & jerry’s employee:
we’ve got rhymes as tough as cookie dough, they’ll make ya’ll scream!
and our rhymes have more flow than our melted ice cream
you should ihop away, jack go back in your box!
my ice cream might be cold but my rhymes are hot!
hardie, i’m sure lot’s of immature teens like to visit you
friday f+cker shut up, i’ll cool you with some pop eye soup
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chuck e’ cheese employee:
hehehe, my name says it, but i certainly ain’t cheesy
slap yo sh+t with my cheesy greasy pizzaria so dont be needy
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red robin employee:
we’re ready to start robbing you of all your glory!
we serve brown meat and pink, but yours will be gory
we’re flyin high, reachin critical acclamation every time
flippin birds like we flip patties, we’re sick when we spit rhymes!
our victory is bottomless, like our bottomless fries!
we satisfy our customers with our monstorous size!
time to deep fry you with this dis, to churn you into chum
go home! you’ve been served by red robin! yumm
red lobster employee:
i’m red lobster b+tch, i’m the king of the seafood regime
i’ll boil you, broil you, and then add some steam
you’ll all need stitches after my pinches
you all will be wishing’ that y’all never went fishin’
i’m cookin hot rhymes! you’re cookin slime! right out the pot
creatin gourmet in the deep sea! see? i own this lot
red robin, i’ll serve some toppings right up to your store steps
i mean business, b+tch! my seafood’s the best you’ll ever get!
white castle employee:
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hooter’s employee:
we are the true winged heroes, you guys are nothing but felons
we don’t serve fruit here, but we’re packed with melons!
we serve true quality food, you all have no chance
step up your game, and stop touching those little fries in your pants
we make all the boys hoot, because our br++sts are the best
don’t be jealous just because your food is sh+t and our’s is s+x
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the only things bigger than my disses are my b00bs
chick+fil+a employee:
fly back to the coop, you hooters, it’s time to pray
so get down on your knees and suck this d+ck+fil+a
all you got is br++sts, but b+tch we got the chicken
and since when do you let women step away from the kitchen?
on the 7th day, i rested, to show these b+tches
i’m their creator and the chicken sandwhich’s!
so now that all you h0m+s+xuals are banned to enter
serving you f+ggots was truly “my pleasure”
dave n’ busters employee:
you all will be dave n’ busted as soon as we start the game
after this battle you’ll all be scared with shame
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cracker barrel employee:
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golden corral employee:
the only thing you’re cracking is everyone’s t++th
reek! what’s that smell? you hiding bodies underneath?
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olive garden employee:
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i’m making the switch, cause when you’re here, you’re my b+tch!
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