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epic rap battles of history - frederick douglass vs thomas jefferson lyrics

[intro]
epic rap battles of history!
thomas jefferson!
versus!
frederick dougl-ss!
begin!

[verse 1: thomas jefferson]
when in the course of human events
it becomes necessary for a battle to commence
then kplow! i hit ’em with the illness of my quill
i’m endowed with certain unalienable sk!lls
let me run down my resume, will ya?
set up a little place called the united states
sound familiar?
i told king george he could eat a fat d-ck
when it comes to declaration i’m the first draft pick
i’ll topple any tyrant, so kings and pirates beware
i’m so down with revolutions, i invented the swivel chair
i’ve many volumes on my shelves, it’s true
but i’ve yet to read the three books you wrote about you
looking like a skunk in a three piece suit
didn’t come back from paris to battle pepe le pew
first secretary of state, vp number two
not to mention third president, the f-ck’d you do?

[verse 2: frederick dougl-ss]
you finished? …okay
straight outta bondage! a brainy mother f-cker here to diss you
big hair, big nuts, big issues
starting with your nickel: there’s a real declaration
heads for racist, tails for a slave plantation
you’re a soft white monticello marshmallow
watching my people sweat while you sat playing cello, h-llo!
but now you’re facing me, freddy d
i’d never work for your -ss, but i’ll kick it for free
(ugh!) your stone face on rushmore ain’t nothing
check my photos, now that’s real muggin’
the face of a free man, taught himself to read, man
no compromise, you couldn’t whip a 5th of me, man!
you got a self evident truth of your own
you let freedom ring, but never picked up the phone!

[verse 3: thomas jefferson]
oh frederick, i’ve never heard a verse i dug less
alright i admit it, i confess
i partic-p-ted in a broken system that i hated
but i needed to keep my financial status situated
and the words i used were “hideous blot”
to describe the slave trade and the pain it hath brought
and i fought to stop the trade of new slaves in virginia
when i ran the whole state and still made it home for dinner
so forgive me, i was busy
man, i had a lot to do
but we did it, you’re free now
so…we cool?

[verse 4: frederick dougl-ss]
this ain’t louisiana man
i ain’t buying it
you talk about freedom, but you ain’t applying sh-t!
so no, we ain’t cool
you founding absentee father
you had six babies with your slave mama
and never even bothered
to free her when you died
on the 4th of july
it’s a very important holiday
but what the f-ck does it mean to this guy?
cause i celebrate december 6th, 1865
the day the 13th d-mn amendment was ratified
and i ceased to be an alien to your unalienable rights
and “we, the people” stopped meaning
“we the people, who are white!”
man, you did some good things
i ain’t denying your fame
i’m just saying, they need to put an asterisk
next to your name

[outro]
who won?
who’s next?
you decide!
epic rap(x13)
battles(x3)
of history!

- epic rap battles of history lyrics

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