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epic rap battles of history - oprah vs ellen lyrics

[intro]
epic rap battles of history!
ellen degeneres!
versus!
oprah winfrey!
begin!

[ellen degeneres]
hey god, it’s me, ellen, can i ask you a question?
how do i tell my friend oprah she’s gonna get more whipped than stedman?
i’ll make her head spin, when it comes to rhymes i got a penchant
so battling me is your intention, i better mention
you’re about to get l1cked by a lesbian
oh! knock you off your throne, take a shot at everything you own
i got the sk!ll to make doctor phil say

[dr. phil]
i think you better just leave her alone

[ellen degeneres]
you can tell rachel ray that my favorite recipe
is chopping oprah winfrey up into a million little pieces

[oprah winfrey]
i’m the queen of tv and i’m here to destroy ya
so check under your seat, because i got something for ya!
you can’t even hope to be as half as dope as oprah
i’ll attract my hands around your throat and deepak choke ya!
girl, your show’s a petting zoo, you do a week on kittens
and you dance like a chicken who snuck into drunk kitchen
you played a fish with brain damage, i’m a nominated actress
name synonymous with power! spell it forwards or backwards

[ellen degeneres]
yes, you’ve got that power (power), and yes i’ve got those kittens (kittens)
i also feature puppies, talented children and mittens
i like cute things that make people smile
make everybody feel good for a while
do a little dance and the crowd goes wild
kick you right back to the miracle mile
i thought i told ya, your daytime reign is over
i’m jumping over oprah like i’m tom cruise on a sofa
from abc to lgbt, to nbc and now it’s all me
i’m the best mc and the biggest star
i’ll bite you in the -ss like the tax on a free car

[oprah winfrey]
your mouth is writing checks your mullet can’t cash, lady!
i’ll lodge my fabulous shoe up your suitpants, baby
you follow my lead cause i paved the road for ya
you drive behind me in a second-hand porsche
check the fortune 500, i’m a media wonder
the dalai lama and obama memorized my cell number
try to beef with me, i’ll make the whole market crash
honey, once you go oprah

[stedman graham]
you can’t go back

[outro]
who won?
who’s next?
you decide!
you decide!
you decide!
you decide!
you decide!
epic rap battles of history!

- epic rap battles of history lyrics

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