epic rap battles of history - tony hawk vs wayne gretzky lyrics
[intro]
epic rap battles of history!
tony hawk!
versus!
wayne gretzky!
begin!
[tony hawk]
i can skate better than this church boy t-rd can
not cash money, it’s just wayne versus birdman
you got your whole league to protect and adore you
so which goon’s gonna take this battle for you?
i’m the dude who blew up extreme sports
that nose looks like it’s seen extreme snorts
i mean, look at that thing, that slope is gigantic
even i wouldn’t fly off a ramp that t-tanic
and all the ice underneath you will be melted into water
when i hit you with a trick that’s even hotter than your daughter
you’re old and you’re basic, your talent is faded
and oiler alert: you’re about to get traded
i drop rhymes like i’m dropping into a half pipe
i’ll thrash this -sswipe, hit you like a hash pipe
keep your mittens on, gretzky, you’re too clean
i got this covered like gravy on poutine
[wayne gretzky]
that verse was rough; d-mn, tony
so let me smooth it out, like i’m a d-mn zamboni
i’m the greatest ever when i play hockey
but on the microphone i don’t play, hawkey
this is a street fight, t-hawk, show some respect
if you don’t, then you’ll catch a slap shot to the deck
and i take a flyer down, bird, you’re getting wrecked
so you best prepare for arrival and cross check
hey, let me tell you what putting a puck in the net’s worth
double what you bank in bucks, check my net worth
and my hot wife, the only woman in the world for wayne
you’re on your fourth wife, talk about the x-games
there was one big trick that you ever did
then you got out-spun by a 12-year old kid
oh, you like finger flips? how ’bout one of these?
sit on this and rotate 900 degrees
[tony hawk]
great one, wayne; let me say something, wayne
i got 99 problems and you ain’t one wayne
you’ll catch a pop-shove it to the mullet if you tempt me
your threats are like my swimming pools, bruh, empty
[wayne gretzky]
let’s skip the kickflips and mctwists
you’ll be speechless after three periods like an ellipsis
this goofy-footed geek straight getting smoked
got you down on your kneepads, sorry bout the deke joke
[tony hawk]
you should hit the buzzer ’cause it’s time to change lines
you put that joke in a top shelf of lame rhymes
this ain’t typical sports, i use centripetal force
while you prance around in four-pound icy diaper shorts
i try to watch you on tv, but i can’t see the puck
hockey used to have guts, but now the teams mighty suck
i taught kids around the world that there’s nothing they can’t do
put more souls into skating than some vans shoes
[wayne gretzky]
time out; let’s talk about athletic achievements
you and i have so many world records between us
184, that’s plenty of them
and i set 183 of them!
undisputed, unrefuted g-o-a-t
you’ve been going downhill since pro skater 3
and i’m too far ahead for you to catch up
for true sports fans, this was finished as soon they heard the match up
[outro]
who won?
who’s next?
you decide!
epic rap battles of history!
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