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eratik - alive. i'm mourning again lyrics

[verse 1]
i’m tired of being someone that you walk over, somebody to talk over
the irony is higher me feel like i’m at crossover
no practice, i’m reacting while i try not to be dramatic
half of me feel asthmatic but most of me feel abandoned
trying hard to use bandage to cover up all the scars
it’s getting hard to imagine me being amongst the stars
never been this confused, ‘till i seen this side of your heart
although i know i’ve heard someone say they believe in me
that sh+t can’t combat all thе sh+t you’ve said that’s mean to me
that sh+t ain’t nothing whеn i know how much you mean to me
that sh+t can’t f+ck with all the sh+t you’ve said that mean to me
that when you see me, you see everyone else
you don’t see the sh+t i’m doing, to me, mean more than the wealth?
like, you ain’t see the times where you could just hold on to your belt?
asked how i felt? or appreciate the cards that you dealt?
i remember meeting magic at twelve
first time that i believed in it
as time past, i stopped getting starstruck
and started hoping that it’d mean something
maybe i’m meant to be the n+gga that’s gon’ keep loving (keep loving)
and maybe you meant to be the person that’s gon’ learn nothing (learn nothing)
you learn more when you love yours. word to cole

[chorus]
do you love yourself?
you should
it’s morning again
and i’m mourning again
wonder where you are
are you alive? or are you dead inside?
it’s morning again
and i’m mourning again
[verse 2]
i had a close homie
took pride in helping homeless people
i wanted to know his motive
said he was feeling lonely
the people he loved controlled him, he wasn’t for it
he wanted to live the life the way he seen: euphoric
one day, guess life felt boring
they offered him coke, his eyes cracked like it was metaphoric
vision blurred but this the first time that he had no warnings
he wanted more and more, but fought the urge ‘til he ignored it
next time i seen the homie
that n+gga lost some weight
he asked me how i was, i told him i was great
i asked him how he was, i felt like he was eight
still fighting all that trauma that his momma ‘caused at an earlier date
he told me that he’d be fine
“yeah, sh+t get kinda rough but you know that it take time”
we shared a couple of laughs and chopped it up, man that sh+t was a vibe
i couldn’t see past his lies
if i did, i’d look him dead in his eyes, and ask:

[chorus]
do you love yourself?
you should
it’s morning again
and i’m mourning again
wonder where you are
[verse 3]
next time i seen the homie, it was mel, him & me
we went up to my home, chill with the family
he was outgoing, could light up the room for you or me
insecurities reeking, him and them mesh better than me
i took a step outside, then i sat down and cried
now tears fall down my cheek, i couldn’t figure why
i put on dot sh+t, “u” from tp a b+tterfly
painful irony, seeing you institutionalized
last time i seen the homie+

- eratik lyrics

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